Writer's Block (Chapters 11 to 20)

Chapter 11

Claire opened her eyes. Ryan lay beside her, gazing quietly.
“Hey” she smiled, stretching herself
“Hey” he smiled and moved closer to kiss her
Claire pecked him slightly, concerned about her morning breath. She sat up and stepped out of bed.
“Where are you going?”
“I’ll be right back.” Pausing for a second, she added in hushed tone “I really need to pee” and rushed into the bathroom.
Ryan lay back laughing. How could she be so sexy and honest at the same time? He stretched to find his boxers and slid them on. He sat on the bed, checked that the bathroom door was still closed, and smelled both his armpits. Not bad… not great either. He wondered if he could talk her into taking a shower with him. Just the thought of it made him feel aroused.

Claire stood leaning her back on the door for a few seconds. Well, that went well!, she thought Now he definitely won’t think you’re easy. Claire, what were you thinking?! She hit her forehead, slowly sliding down her hand to cover her eyes. What about your plan: Coffee, light conversation, home? She paused and shook her head. It was the dancing… she could’ve never resisted the dancing. She wondered what he thought about her now. Probably just another notch on his bed post. How could you be so weak, woman! She scolded herself. Well, too late now… what’s been done, has been done. She might as well enjoy these last moments with him. I mean, c’mon, he was a movie star; he could have any woman he wanted. Well, Claire, you have been no exception, have you? She took and deep breath and let out a sigh, pushing herself off the door and towards the sink. She grabbed the toothpaste and brushed her teeth with her finger as she stared back at her reflection in the mirror. She looked kind of cute wearing his Darfur T-shirt; her long hair flowing onto her shoulders. She scrubbed her face, trying to remove the rest of her makeup. She then dried off, leaving the water running so he wouldn’t hear her. It was silly thing she always did, letting the water run. She couldn’t help it.
Finally, she walked back to the sink, turned off the faucet and looked at herself again. Regardless of how things worked out from now on, she had to admit last night had been pretty amazing, and she knew she would always remember it as something special. Ryan, she thought, would probably discard it as any other night.
Thinking about that made her feel sad, specially considering their friendship was probably doomed after what had happened between them. She wished she could talk to Emma; she was so skilled in this area, always leaving guys pining for more. Well, whatever… they might as well finish things off nicely. She had to admit Ryan had been a gentleman the whole time and one thing was for sure: no one had forced her to spend the night at his place. She whispered to her reflection: “Ok, Brickwell, you’re a grown woman, now deal with the consequences”. Biting her lower lip, she opened the door.

Ryan sat on the bed facing the bathroom door. He smiled as he saw her come out.
“Are you ok?” she looked amazing in his shirt
“Sure” she smiled bashfully. “Don’t I look ok?”
“You look more beautiful than last night, if that is even possible”
He stood up, walked to where she was standing and wrapped his arms around her. Claire, not expecting this, frowned slightly. He then lifted her head with his finger, paused a moment to contemplate her, as she looked at him in slight confusion, and kissed her passionately. She felt her body tingle as their kiss deepened.
Suddenly, he stopped and looked at her “Are you hungry?”
“Starving” she admitted bashfully.
“Good, let me fix you some breakfast”
He grabbed a shirt and led her towards the kitchen.
“Now, I have coffee and I can make toast. Also, I can run across the street and get you some fresh bagels”
“Coffee and toast sounds perfect” she sat on a stool. “Do you need any help?”
He shook his head, got two coffee mugs from the cupboard, and set the water to boil.
“How come you don’t have morning breath?” She had to ask.
“Well, we Hollywood celebrities don’t” he teased
Claire stared at him in disbelief
“No, silly; I brushed my teeth earlier while you were sound asleep”
“Oh” Claire blushed foolishly.
He put two loafs of bread in the toaster and placed two napkins on the counter.
Claire looked around, noticing her Manolo sandals as they lay next to the couch. She licked her upper lip nervously.
“Where’s George?”
“He’s with Rosa”
“Rosa?”
“She’s the lady who comes twice a week to clean my apartment. She also walks George and sometimes looks after him when I’m on location. I knew I wasn’t going to be around yesterday, so I dropped him off at her place in the morning. She’ll probably bring him back tomorrow”
“Right” Claire nodded
“Do you need to call Emma to let her know you’re ok?”
“She spent the night at her boyfriend’s and is probably working right now. I’ll talk to her later”
“So, got any plans for today?” he put some toast on her plate
She got what he meant “Not really, but I can call a cab and be out of your way in no time”
He laughed “Who said I want you out of my way?”
“Well…” she was confused “you probably have work to do. I wouldn’t want to interfere”
“Claire, I don’t have to work today and considering you don’t have any plans, I think we should spend the day together.” He paused trying to rephrase “I mean I’d really like to spend the day with you …if you want”
“Yeah… sure, I’d like that” she smiled feeling a bit foolish. So it wasn’t over, he wanted to be with her! Maybe not romantically, but at least he still wanted to be her friend.


As they were finishing their breakfast the phone rang.
“Gosling” Ryan answered “Hey, man! When did you get here?” he walked towards the couch and sat down
Claire took the mugs and dishes to the sink and washed them. She wiped the crumbs off the counter and poured water into a glass. She sipped and walked towards Ryan, offering him the glass. He took it, drank half of it, and set it on the table next to the couch. As she was about to walk back into his bedroom he grabbed her leg, gently caressing her thigh. He looked up at her, still on the phone, nodding at whoever was on the other side of the line. Claire stood still and closed her eyes nervously.
“So I guess I’ll see you there around ten…. Great! Take care, man”. He hung up the phone dropping it next to him on the couch.
She opened her eyes and gazed down at him
“How come your legs are so firm?” he was honestly intrigued
“I jog everyday… started doing it a couple of years ago. Haven’t stopped since. It helps me concentrate”
He patted the spot next to him on the couch and she sat down.
“Helps you concentrate?”
“Yeah, you know… clears my mind. It’s just me and the road, nothing else.”
“Hadn’t thought about it like that, but I guess you’re right.”
“Hey, I’m not saying it works for everyone, but it does for me…” Claire noticed a door next to the entrance she hadn’t seen before. “What’s in there?”
“There? my music room, it has a special coating so as to muffle the sound. The neighbors would kill me otherwise”
“I guess so… do you play everyday?”
“I try to, at least when I’m home. Haven’t been playing much lately, though. I fear I might be getting kind of rusty”
“Practice does make perfect.” She paused as he brushed her back gently “I’ve given up on music a long time ago. I wish I hadn’t now, but I guess it’s too late to go back”
“It’s never too late. What instrument did you play?”
“The piano. I took lessons as a kid, but gave it up because of all the work it involved”
“And writing, when did you start?”
“I think I started writing in my mother’s womb” she smiled “No, seriously though, I cannot recall a time in my life when I didn’t write”
“Did you write for your high school paper?”
“Of course! I was part of everything and anything that involved writing”
“Have you kept any of your old stuff?”
“Yes, but I would never read it”
“Why?”
“Because it’s probably awful, that’s why!”
“I really don’t think so. You’re pretty hard on yourself, you know?”
“Well, Gosling… let me ask you this…” Claire was so caught up in the topic, she completely forgot about how awkward she had felt this morning. “Do you ever watch the movies you’ve been in?”
“I have to, at premieres”
“Ok, but other than premieres… do you sit and watch yourself at home, like on DVD?”
“No…” she definitely had a point…he had to give her that
“Ok, then. I rest my case” she smiled smugly
He laughed and pressed the upper part of her thigh
“Ouch, that tickles!” she punched him on the shoulder
Still laughing he caught her by the arm and pulled her close, kissing her as she playfully fought back. She got up and tried to walk away as he grabbed her, pulling her towards him and kissing her again. At some point during their struggle, they began to feel aroused. He lifted her as she locked her thighs around his hips and walked towards the bedroom.
“Wanna take a shower?” he was almost out of breath
She paused to catch hers “Ok”.
He carried her to the bathroom pulling the curtain and turning the faucets as she kissed him in rapture. She pulled off his shirt and lifted her arms to allow him to remove hers; which he did, in a second.
She moaned as her bare skin touched his, kissing his shoulders and neck. He put her down and she walked into the shower, leaving the curtain open, waiting for him to step in. He hurriedly slid off his boxers and walked towards her holding her face against his, as he licked and bit her lips in profound desire. She took the soap and started scrubbing his chest, kissing every inch of it as the water washed off the foam. He imitated her routine with her back and they took turns washing and mutually exploring each others bodies. They finally washed their hair, and rinsed it. He put some conditioner on hers and gently combed it with his fingers.
He stepped out of the shower to get a towel and she stayed in to rinse the conditioner off. After she was done, Claire turned off both faucets and stepped out to find Ryan waiting to dry her off. He stood behind her as she looked in the mirror, gently rubbing her skin while kissing the back of her neck. He pulled the towel around them pressing his body against her back and looked at the mirror. He thought they made a cute couple. She smiled at him as he tightened his grip around her and sighed.
He guided her towards the bedroom walking behind her, still wrapped in a towel. He turned her around and dropped the towel pausing to look at her naked body. She stood in front of him, mildly blushing and turned her gaze to the floor. He grabbed her face, slightly lifting it and kissed her passionately, letting her know she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.
He lifted her again placing her gently on the bed. He slowly began to lick her feet, working himself up across her legs and thighs. She moaned as he ascended. He spread her thighs and touched her, as she sighed deeply. Keeping his eyes locked on hers, he placed his mouth between her thighs and began to kiss her between sighs as she caressed his wet hair. He touched her clit with the tip of his tongue brushing it softly. Claire bit her finger to prevent from screaming and let out a muffled moan. He then placed his fingers inside her and he moved his tongue in a circling motion. She gently massaged his hair letting him know she was enjoying this. A warm feeling traveled up Claire’s thighs causing her muscles to spasm. He rushed to get a condom and put it on as fast as he could. He then grabbed her by the legs turning her around swiftly and placed his body on top of her back; gently spreading her legs as entered her and she let out a soft moan. He then slid his arm beneath her to grab her breasts keeping her still as he moved inside her. She faced the bathroom door, biting her fingers, again trying to muffle the sounds she couldn’t help making. He grabbed both her arms holding them behind her back as he intensified his rhythm. She panted and moaned completely losing control. Finally, they both collapsed as she screamed in absolute ecstasy.
He lay motionless on top of her as she lifted her right arm towards her back and rubbed his head affectionately. He kissed the back of her neck and rolled off onto the bed, resting his arm on the lower part of her back. She turned her head to look at him and smiled. He let out a sigh as he gazed back at her in exhaustion. After taking a moment to catch their breath, they moved closer and kissed, completely lost in one another.

Chapter 12

“Do you wanna grab some lunch?”
“You mean go out into the street?”
“That’s where most restaurants are, yes… What do you mean, ‘go out into the street’?” he laughed
“Gosling, all I have is the dress from last night. Don’t you think it’s a bit too much for broad daylight?”
“Hmm… I hadn’t thought about that”
They lay on his bed naked. Ryan smoked a cigarette.
“Listen” he had a solution to her problem “My sister stays with me sometimes; I know there’s some of her clothes hanging in my closet. Why don’t you go see if you like anything? I know she wouldn’t mind.”
“Really?”
“Yeah… go ahead.”
She stood up and walked to his closet. Ryan lay back placing his arm behind his head, gazing at her as she walked around his room naked. Claire opened the closet and searched for something that would match her sandals. She found a beautiful white summer dress with pink flowers on it. This could work, she thought. She took it and faced Ryan holding it in one hand. He gazed at her smiling.
“What?” she wondered what he was smiling about.
“There has to be something better in this life than watching you do that, but I’ll be damned if I know what it is”
Claire blushed, suddenly realizing she was standing naked in front of him. (She had been concentrating on something else).
“Hmmm...” she noticed her bra on the floor, picked it up and threw it at him. “Quit it, Gosling!” she yelled laughing.
She tried the dress on: it was short and loose fitting. She walked into the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. Not bad. It had a low cut cleavage, held by straps that crossed on the back. She couldn’t wear her bra with it; it would look ridiculous if she did. Claire was not crazy about this idea, but could think of no other solution. She walked out of the bathroom and looked at Ryan.
“Any thoughts?”
“Honest?”
“Please”
“I liked you better without it. But it looks good on you”
“You’re funny Gosling… you know that?” she paused “So, are you getting dressed or what?”
“Claire, I’m a guy. I’ll be ready and waiting for you before you finish putting on your shoes”
Claire stuck her tongue out to him and walked into the next room to put on her sandals. She grabbed her purse and brushed her hair putting some perfume on.
As she took Emma’s shawl from the chair (where she had left it last night), Ryan walked out of his room wearing jeans and a white shirt and looking particularly hot. He held her dress and bra folded neatly in one arm.
Claire looked at him confused.
“We’re not coming back here after lunch” he explained
“Oh” she remembered the phone call he had gotten earlier. He was meeting a friend and he probably wanted to drop her off after lunch.
“We can grab some lunch, hang out for a while and then I’ll drive you home so you can change for tonight”
“Tonight?”
“There’s a party at a friend’s house and I thought you’d like to come with me”
Claire was ecstatic. He wants me to meet his friends? She paused. Stop it! Don’t read into this. It’s just a party. That’s all. She refused to go crazy about this guy after only two days.
She took a deep breath and smiled “Sounds like fun!”

They decided on the Cheesecake Factory: it was nice, the service was pretty fast and they both knew they liked it. Claire ordered a chicken salad and Ryan had a burger. They ate in silence, relieved after all their ‘heavy exercise’.
A girl walked up to their table holding a picture of Ryan. She asked him for an autograph and he signed it smiling.
“Thank you” she said and ran away giggling to show her mom
Claire looked at him and grinned slightly
“What is it?” Ryan grinned back
“I dunno, I guess this is the first time “
“What do you mean?”
“You know, the whole…autograph thing. It’s kind of new to me”
“Yeah, well…it comes with the job. I’m not crazy about it, but every once in a while I get to meet really cool people”
“And chicks” she played around with her salad
“Jealous, Brickwell?”
“Fat chance, Gosling” she sneered at him
He laughed. “Well, I know I would be if some strange guy came up to talk to you”
“I’m not a movie star, Gosling, so you don’t need to worry about that”
He licked his upper lip. He did worry though, after only two days he was starting to have feelings for her and she was heading back for Manhattan in a month.

Chapter 13

After lunch they decided to hang out at Emma’s; she might be home already and Claire wanted them to meet.
They arrived around 4 pm but the house was still empty. Claire left Ryan smoking a cigarette in the backyard, and rushed into her room to change into something more comfortable. She settled for some jeans and a shirt and walked barefoot outside holding a pair of open toe sandals. Ryan gestured her to come closer and tapped on his thighs. She sat on his lap as he turned her head and kissed her. She then lay back on his chest holding his arms as they wrapped around her. They sat in silence for a while, their gazes lost ahead, almost falling asleep in each others arms. Suddenly, they heard Lola bark: Emma was home. Instantly, Claire got up and pulled Ryan out of the chair. They walked into the house and were greeted by Lola who seemed thrilled to see Ryan again.
“Hey Lola” he rubbed her back as she wagged her tail vigorously “I see you’ve missed me… I’ve missed you too. Don’t worry” almost whispering “I won’t tell George about your little display of affection here… He’s one jealous puppy, you know”
Claire shook her head and chuckled. Emma walked into the kitchen smiling. She looked perfect, as usual.
“Hello, Ryan” she walked up to him and held out her hand “It’s really nice to finally meet you. I’m Emma”
Ryan shook her hand and smiled. “Hi, Emma. I’m glad I finally get to meet you too”
Claire smiled enthusiastically, she had been eagerly awaiting this moment.
“So...” Emma went on “Would anyone be interested in tea? I know I’d love some.”
“Sure” Claire nodded “Let me fix you some”
“Nonsense… you guys go do something else. I’m all set here”
Ryan’s phone rang. “Gosling…Yeah.” He covered his cellphone and looked at Claire as he pointed towards the backyard “I should take this, it’s work”
Claire nodded as he walked outside and lit a cigarette.
Emma looked out the window. “He’s a smoker?” she frowned at Claire
“Not a terrible one, though”
“Well, how was your date?”
“Still going, I’m afraid”
“No! You spent the night with him?”
“Lower your voice Em, for God’s sake!”
She tried again, this time whispering “You spent the night with him?”
Claire nodded embarrassed.
“And? How was it?” still whispering
“Amazing… really amazing” Claire blushed slightly
“Did you come down here?”
“No… we stayed at his place”
“Were you drunk?”
“Why do you ask?”
“Because I’m your best friend and I know you better than anyone”
“Meaning?”
“That you have never slept with a guy on the first date. That’s something I would do”
“Maybe a bit, not enough to make a fool of myself if that’s what you’re asking. Now shut up, he’s coming back”
Claire looked at him “Everything ok?”
“Super” he winked at her
“Ok,” Emma smiled as she set a few mugs on a tray “Why don’t we take our tea in the backyard”

Time flew as they sat to drink tea and talk. Emma asked Ryan about the Darfur Coalition. She had always been very interested in human rights. The fact that she was in Corporate Law now, did not mean she hadn’t once tried to change the world. Claire remembered the early days when Emma first got involved in International Law and Human Rights Policies. Of course she had soon found out it was kind of a dead end, and involved too much sacrifice for very little money. She gave up after a couple of years and moved to a much more lucrative field in law. Claire knew Emma occasionally regretted this; but she had done the right thing. Her parents had gone bankrupt five years ago and her current position in the firm allowed her to help them out. Emma had an older sister who was in Finance and also provided for her parents.
Ryan talked and Emma listened, asking very specific questions, some of which Ryan could not answer but vowed to find out.
Later Emma switched the topic onto his performance in Half Nelson. I’m going to have to rent that asap, Claire thought, I must be the only person in the world who hasn’t seen that movie!
“And the part when you are in the girls’ locker room...”
Claire covered her ears
Emma looked at her frowning “What are you doing?”
“I haven’t seen it. I don’t want to know what happens”
Ryan laughed
“Cee, the movie is not about what happens…” Emma explained
She put her hands down “Oh, ok” and blushed, slightly embarrassed by her ignorance.
After a while Ryan looked at his watch. “It’s 8:30 already. We should get going” he looked at Claire “Do you wanna go change or stick to what you’re wearing? You look fine to me”
“You’re going out?” Emma looked at Claire smiling
“A friend of mine is throwing a party at his beach house, wanna come? It’s a bit of a drive up there but you’re more than welcome” Ryan meant every word
“Maybe next time, ok? I had a rough day at work I’m thinking of getting into bed early”
(Ryan thought about how he’d like to get Claire into bed early).
“I’ll change. I promise I won’t be a minute” she got up and hurried to her room thanking Emma in silence for forcing her to buy extra outfits yesterday.

Chapter 14

They got to the party around 10:30 pm. Claire felt terrible, it had taken her a while to decide what to wear. She wanted to look good for Ryan’s friends. After trying on several different combinations she decided upon a pair of tight white pants and a loose silvery top with an open back, similar to what Emma had worn on their night out with Matt. She let her hair down curling it slightly at the tips. Ryan complimented her on her look.

He opened the door for her as she sat in his car half paralyzed.
He held out his hand “You comin’?”
She took his hand and looked at him; he wore a reassuring smile on his face. He wanted to say “Relax, Claire, they’re gonna love you”
She got off the car and stood up flattening down the wrinkles on her pants. He closed the door and pushed her against it. Slightly leaning on her as he kissed her gently “You look stunning, babe”
She smiled as they locked their fingers together, and followed him towards the house. The entrance was crowded with paparazzi who blinded her with flashes, yelling “Here, Ryan, here!”
Ryan paused for a moment to smile at the cameras and put his arm around her shoulder. Claire smiled bashfully. This was definitely not her turf.
“So, Ryan” one of them got closer “Who’s the babe?”
Ryan smiled and shook his head. “She’s not in the business Tom, so cut her some slack”
Tom laughed “Fair enough. Whenever she’s ready, man” and stepped back.
The front door opened wide to reveal a tall, dark haired man wearing a black shirt and faded jeans. (Claire wondered if all of Ryan’s friends were this good looking). He smiled at them holding a cigarette in one hand and a beer in the other one. “Hey you guys! Glad you could make it!”
Ryan hugged his friend as Claire stood by them, leaning to check the inside of the house.
“Hey, Man…I’ve missed you!” as he tapped on Ryan’s shoulder. “So...” he looked at Claire “Are you gonna introduce me to this beautiful young lady?”
Claire blushed searching for Ryan’s arm.
“Claire Brickwell, meet Chris Bukowski, an old friend”
Claire shook his hand smiling “It’s really nice to meet you, Chris”
Chris looked back at Ryan “How do you do it?”
“What?” Ryan lit a cigarette and looked at him inquisitively.
“Meet such gorgeous women?”
Ryan laughed as he brushed Claire’s naked back
“Now c’mon you two” he lifted his beer bottle “You’ve got some catching up to do”
Claire browsed the scene as they walked in. It was huge and completely packed with people. She noticed it was decorated in a kind of minimalist style, dimly lit by candles that spread all over the room. She recognized the movie ‘Scarface’ showing on one of the blank walls. A powerful sound system flooded the room with hip hop music.
Chris stepped towards her “Beer, ok?”
Claire, slowly adapting her ear drums to the loud music, nodded smiling.
He left them and came back in a split second with two bottles of Bud light. Claire swigged nervously as she looked around. Ryan held his cigarette and beer bottle in one hand and guided her with the other across the room.
As they moved across, people waved and smiled at Ryan, giving him the occasional high five. Claire smiled and nodded at everyone they met, drinking frequently, hoping the beer would help her relax.
They walked out of the house into an open deck that lay directly on the beach. It was a chilly night and Claire had left her jacket in Ryan’s car.
She rubbed her arms feeling goosebumps. Ryan stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her. They stood outside for a while, staring at the full moon.
Claire had a thing for the moon. Ever since she could remember, the moon had had an effect on her. She used to sit next to her bedroom window at night and stare at it endlessly. She still did this, every once in a while: lean her upper body outside her apartment window in Manhattan and stare at the moon for hours. She believed a full moon could cast a spell on people. Zach thought it was a cute habit of hers and he would sometimes tease her howling like a wolf as he stood beside her.
“The moon is prettier in Boston” she would sigh regretfully
Zach would scratch his head pretending to be confused as he faked a southern accent “You got another moon in Boston?”
“As a matter of fact we do. You wouldn’t know cuz you’ve always lived here”

She remembered the last time she stood in her apartment staring at the moon. Zach had left for Paris a week ago and she was smoking a cigarette peacefully, wearing one of his shirts. Zach despised smokers. He thought it was a filthy habit.
He had called her as soon as he got to the hotel, telling her all about the ride from the airport, how beautiful Paris was, and how he wished she was there with him. He called her the next day and the next… but hadn’t called since. It had been 4 days already and Claire started wondering if he was ok. She rang his hotel a couple of times but he was never in his room. She left him a few messages.
She decided he was too busy with his book presentation and probably collapsed in his room every evening holding the phone in his hand, intending to call her, but dozing off in the process.
The phone rang. Claire put out her cigarette and ran to get it.
“Claire speaking, hello?”
There was a buzz on the line; it was a long distance call. Claire sighed relieved
“Zach?” she questioned impatiently “Is that you?”
“Hey, Claire” he sounded distant
“Hey! Are you ok? I was starting to get worried”
“I’m fine” again that unfamiliar tone
“How’s the presentation going? Have you met any famous French writers? Did you go to the Louvre?”
“Yeah… I met a whole bunch of talented people and the Louvre is amazing”
“Wow!” she paused “I’ve been doing some writing, babe! You’re gonna be so proud of me. I can’t wait till you get back and read it”
“Claire…” he paused
“Yeah?”
“I’m not coming back…” she gasped as he paused once more “I met someone. We’re in love”
Claire felt like a massive truck had just ran over her. She collapsed to a chair.
“You’re fucking with me, right?”
“Listen, Claire…” she got it. This was not a bad joke. “I wasn’t expecting this to happen. It just did”
“What’s her name? How did you meet her?” she fought the tears
“Sophie… she’s a painter. We were introduced at a cocktail party the first night I got here” he paused again “Look, I wish I didn’t have to tell you this over the phone… We’re moving in together” another pause “I spoke to my brother and he’s coming over tomorrow to pick up some things I need shipped to Paris, he has his own set of keys. You can keep the rest of my stuff until I figure out what to do”
She stared blankly at the wall … thoughts racing in her mind at a million miles per hour.
“Claire? Are you there?”
She sighed “Well, Zach… I guess there’s not much figuring out to do then, is there?”
“I’m really sorry, Claire. You know the last thing I want to do is hurt you. It just turned out like this. I…”
“Don’t worry about it Zach, I’ll be fine” she lied
“Claire, I…” he was trying to find the right words
“Take care of yourself. Bye now” She hang up the phone trembling just as she heard him yell “Claire, wait!”
She sat back in a stupor, Zach’s words still lingering in her mind. “I met someone, we’re in love” She placed the phone back, turned off the lights in the living room and ran to her bedroom; where she got into bed and cried herself to sleep.

Ryan broke the silence “Are you cold?”
Claire came back from her thoughts suddenly, feeling an unpleasant bitterness in the pit of her stomach. She smiled as she realized where she was; taking a deep breath and slowly letting it out.
“Not anymore” She turned to look at him as she took another sip of beer. She was starting to feel a slight buzz. She then remembered how little she had eaten that day. Claire, you either tone down or stick to water, she thought. You don’t want to embarrass yourself.
“We should go in” he pointed at the noisy, dimly lit room behind them “Maybe get something to eat. I’m starving”
Claire nodded as he grabbed her hand and led her back in. Instantly, they bumped into Chris
“Where were you guys?… I’ve been looking all over for you!
Ryan almost yelling on top of the music “We were out on the deck. Got any food?”
Chris nodded and led them to the kitchen… Much better, Claire thought. It was far too loud in the other room. They ate pizza and nachos with guacamole. Claire hadn’t realized how hungry she was. Ryan dipped a nacho in guacamole and fed it to her as she sat on the kitchen counter.
“When did you guys meet?” Chris pointed at them with his beer bottle
“Two days ago” Claire beat Ryan “… at the beach” she wiped her hands with a napkin
“George introduced us” Ryan cut in
Chris smiled “That’s it… I’m getting a dog. First thing tomorrow”
Claire laughed. She liked Chris.
Chris looked at her “Are you a model?”
“Yeah” Claire teased “A shoe model”
Ryan laughed “She’s a writer” he pointed at Chris with his beer bottle and added “A published writer”
Chris stared at Ryan in awe “So, she’s all that and a bag of chips!”
Claire blushed as they both laughed. She noticed the music next door had changed into disco music and recognized the song Hot Stuff by Donna Summers. She finished her beer in one gulp and jumped off the counter. “I love this song!” she looked at Ryan “Let’s go dance!”
Ryan laughed as she pulled him into the room next door. Chris followed dancing behind them.
The three of them danced together, taking turns to spin Claire. Some of the people standing around them joined in. Chris began to dance close to Claire, coming up with ridiculous ‘Saturday Night Fever’ steps she would imitate. As Chris made her spin like John Travolta to the sound of BeeGees’ More than a woman, she noticed a beautiful girl dancing and flirting with Ryan.
She looked at him. There must have been some concern in her eyes as Ryan pointed at her and winked. She smiled, feeling somewhat foolish, and kept on dancing.
After a good two hours of dancing and laughing with Chris and other guys who stood beside her, she scanned the room for Ryan. She finally caught him in a dark corner leaning against the wall, smoking a cigarette and gazing at her. She waved and he lifted his beer bottle, pretending to toast in her honor. She then gestured Chris, letting him know she was going over to go talk to Ryan and he nodded smiling.
“Hey Gosling!” she took a sip from his beer “You, ok?”
He sighed smiling “Never better” he put his hand on her waist and bent to kiss her “Hmmm” he closed his eyes “I’ve missed that”.
Claire checked the time. It was almost 3 am! “It’s pretty late Ryan… I think we should get going”
“You’re right.”
“Let me hit the ladies room first, ok?”
He nodded and pointed towards the crowd “I’ll go tell Chris we’re leaving. I’ll meet you at the front door.”
“Ok”
He kissed her again and lingered, letting her hand slide off his slowly, as she walked in search of the bathroom.


Chapter 15

“That was fun” Claire sat on the car putting her jacket on
Ryan stretched his arms on the steering wheel “Yeah, it was”
“Are you ok to drive?”
“I only had two beers, I’m fine” he looked at her as she lifted her legs and snuck on the passenger’s seat to face him.
“Come here” she whispered stretching her arm as he bent over her. She kissed him passionately rubbing the back of his neck.
He laid his hand on her hip and slowly slid it up to touch her breast. Claire moaned as their tongues rubbed each other softly. She moved her hand to touch him, finding him aroused. She smiled between his kisses as she gently caressed him. She then grabbed his hand and licked his index finger, sliding it in and out. He sighed, pushed her back to her seat and started the engine.
“That’s it” he stepped on the gas “You’re not staying at Emma’s tonight”
Claire burst out laughing.

She took off her shoes as she walked into Ryan’s apartment. He locked the door, tossed the keys on the counter and pushed her against the wall. He pulled off her jacket and pressed his body against hers, trapping her between his arms as he placed both his hands on the wall. She licked his lips as she unbuttoned his jeans and slid her hand under his clothes to touch him. She felt him slowly get aroused. He moved one hand to touch her and she grabbed it placing it behind his back, whispering into his ear “My turn, Gosling”. Ryan moaned in anticipation.
Claire slowly lowered herself until she was kneeling in front of him. She breathed hot air into his crotch, teasing him. Ryan couldn’t take it anymore. Finally she grabbed his penis gently, taking a moment to contemplate it. Ryan gazed at her feeling completely delirious. She began to kiss it, brushing the tip with her tongue in short, rapid strokes. She continued by licking it in circling motion as he began to moan. She then stuck his full length into her mouth moving him inside her at her will. He caressed her hair gently, in complete surrender. She kept going, taking turns to lick the tip and slide her tongue down and around the shaft. She used her hands letting his moaning tell her what he wanted. After a while, Ryan lifted her up and kissed her, pressing her body back against the wall. Claire pushed him away, smiling mischievously, and took his hand guiding him to the couch. He sat down and she got on top of him. He cupped her breasts as she kissed him, running her fingers through his hair. She put her arms in the air and he smiled, sliding her top off and dropping it gently beside them. He grabbed one of her breasts and sucked it vigorously as she moaned and rubbed the back of his neck. Without stopping, he got up, holding her with one hand as her legs locked around him. He walked towards his bedroom and threw her on the bed. She smiled. Claire had always enjoyed a little roughness every once in a while, she liked the struggle for power. Zach had never understood that about her.
She unbuttoned her pants as she stared at him standing at the far end of the bed, sensing the desire in his eyes. Instantly, he grabbed her pants and pulled them off in frenzy. She wasn’t wearing any underwear, and thinking about this made him go wild. He took off his clothes and threw himself on top of her, breaking the fall with both his arms. She sighed as she felt his rough skin brush against hers. He began to kiss her neck and chest all the way down to her belly. She grabbed his head and lifted him to her eyelevel. “Ryan” she whispered “I’m ready”. As he stretched his arm in search of a condom, Claire beat him to it. Taking advantage of his slight confusion she pushed him off her, making him flip and got on top of him. He stared at her, trying to guess her next move. With her eyes fixed on his, she tore the wrapper with her teeth and lowered herself to put it on with her mouth. Ryan was not expecting this and chuckled under his breath. She then knelt on top, spreading her legs, and guided him inside her slowly, as she let out a hushed moan.
She moved, pacing herself, taking the time to studying his body language. He used his thumb to rub her clit as he held her with his other hand by the hip. She could feel it coming, slowly, inexorably. Her muscles began to twitch as she moaned louder and louder. She bent over to kiss him as he grabbed her by the hips and thrust himself deeply inside her. Her breathing intensified as he felt a familiar warmth in his groin. He knew she was almost there. He grabbed her face with both hands fixing his gaze on her as he moved inside her, her whole body trembling. Claire could hardly feel her legs. Finally she screamed as he smiled and let himself go.

Claire took a moment to regain her bearings and slid off him carefully, making sure the condom was still on. She lay exhausted face down on the bed. Ryan kissed her back and walked towards the bathroom.
He came back to find his bed empty “Claire?”
“I’m getting some water” she yelled from the kitchen
“Come back to bed” he yelled, as he got under the sheets
Claire walked in holding a glass of water “Relax, Gosling, I was thirsty”
She gulped down half the glass and handed it to him. He finished it, set it on his bedside table and lifted the sheets gesturing her to get inside.
She lay down with her back to him as he covered her. He put his arm around her pulling her towards him and pressed her body against his.
She grabbed his arm and closed her eyes. “Ryan?” she whispered opening her eyes. She heard him snore. “I love you”
Ryan opened his eyes and smiled.

Chapter 16

Claire woke up to find Ryan gone. She sat up and looked around. She noticed the bedroom door closed and walked towards it, pressing one ear against it. She overheard Ryan as he talked to some woman.
She got her pants from the floor, slid them on and scanned the room for her top. She couldn’t find it. She then remembered they had left in on the couch last night. Instantly, she grabbed Ryan’s white shirt and ran into the bathroom.
She walked out of the bathroom trying to decide what to do. Should she wait for him in here? Should she walk into the living room? She bit her lip.
Finally, she decided on the latter. She took a deep breath and slowly opened the door.
Ryan sat on a stool rubbing George’s back as he talked to someone in the kitchen.
George barked at Claire and wagged his tail. Ryan turned and smiled as he caught a glimpse of her.
“Good morning, beautiful” he walked up to her “Did you sleep ok?”
She smiled at him, turning her head to see who was in the kitchen. A dark haired middle aged woman stood behind the counter, grinning.
Ryan put his arm around her shoulder “Claire, meet Rosa, my savior”
Claire sighed, relieved “Hi Rosa” she walked up to her and held out her hand “It’s really nice to finally meet you.”
Rosa held out both arms and grabbed her face to kiss her on the cheek. Claire was not expecting this and jumped back, startled.
“Such a beautiful girl!” Rosa smiled at her “No wonder you’re acting so silly these days” she looked at Ryan as she pointed at him with a wooden spoon.
Ryan blushed and chuckled under his breath.
She put her arms on Claire’s shoulders “You have cast a spell on my Ryan”
Claire smiled and turned to looked at him, slightly embarrassed by Rosa’s familiarity.
“So” Rosa went on “What would you like for breakfast?”
Ryan cut in “Rosa, I think we better leave you the apartment and grab some breakfast outside”
“I understand” Rosa winked at him “You lovebirds want to be alone. Fine, go now… I have cleaning to do”
Ryan turned to look at Claire as she shrugged smiling.

They walked to a deli around the block. George strolled along behind them. After Ryan stopped to get the paper, they sat on a table outside. He tied George’s leash around his chair and began to read. Claire stared at him in silence. He looked up, sighed and gave her half the paper. Claire smiled and began flipping through the pages.
The waitress brought their coffee and bagels and Claire rushed to add some sugar. She picked up her cup and took a sip Hmmm, she thought… almost as good as back home.
She focused on the paper again, browsing it lightly. Suddenly, out of the corner of her eye she saw something that caught her attention. It was a picture of Ryan and her, right in the middle of the Entertainment Section. She stopped to study it. It was from last night! The title read: Gosling cast a new leading lady? She was shocked. She kept on reading…
“Academy Award Nominee, Ryan Gosling showed up at Mr. Bukowski’s beach residence last night, holding the hand of a mysterious new woman. He seemed very protective of her, explaining she was ‘not in the business’. Now, after some research, we have found out that Claire Brickwell (see picture above) is not only beautiful, but somewhat of a celebrity herself. She’s a published author with fixed residence in the Big Apple, where she keeps a job teaching at Columbia University and a contract with Random House, the top international publishing firm. Our sources inform us this has not been the first time they were spotted together.
After Gosling’s break up with Ms. McAdams, his co-star in the popular tearjerker ‘The Notebook’ he hasn’t been seen dating a steady gal. Is Brickwell the new Allie to his Noah?” Claire read it again. She couldn’t believe her eyes. She looked up at him.“Ryan?”
“Yeah?” he kept his eyes on the paper
“Have you dated your co-star from ‘The Notebook’?”
“Huh?” he looked up
Claire read the news out loud. Ryan laughed.
“It’s just silly gossip, Claire”
“Not very flattering, is it? Who are Allie and Noah?”
“Just the characters Rach and I played in The Notebook”
“You mean the novel by Nicholas Sparks?”
“Yup, it was a film adaptation of the novel… with a few touches here and there, but basically… yeah”
”You and Rach?”
“Rachel McAdams”
“Oh” she paused trying to take everything in
He went back to his reading
Claire looked at the article once more. “How professional of you, Gosling!”
“Huh?”
“Do you always fall in love with your co-stars?”
“Yes, specially with Bianca” he laughed
Claire looked confused
He licked his upper lip and put the paper down once more “Bianca is a doll, ok. I played a character who has a relationship with a rubber doll. Not in The Notebook, of course… this one was another movie” he sighed as he explained
“Don’t change the subject” she was not amused.
“I’m not, Claire. What are you trying to say?”
“I don’t know!” she frowned stubbornly
He laughed again
“No, wait! … I do know. What about this Rachel McAdams?”
“What about her?”
“Is she beautiful?”
“Yes, very beautiful”
“And?”
“And we broke up a year ago”
“Why?”
“Because it just didn’t work out, I guess. Claire, what are you trying to ask?”
“Did you cheat on her?”
“Huh?” he laughed “No! We ended it on good terms”
“Well, then… how come they keep bringing her up, after a whole year?”
“Claire, have you read The Notebook?” he set the paper aside.
“Yes, as a matter of fact, I have”
“Ok, it’s a love story, people fantasize about those things”
“Aha… go on”
“So after the movie became so popular …and Rach and I started going out, people thought they were reliving the movie in real life”
“And that is pretty powerful, isn’t it?” Claire nodded
“We had no idea how powerful”
“Do you miss her?”
“Claire, she was a very important part of my life. But that’s over now. We’ve both moved on”
She paused. “It’s easier, isn’t it?”
“What is?” he looked at her as he sipped some coffee
“Dating someone in the business?”
“Some things are easier, some things are harder”
“Meaning?”
“Well” he set his cup back on the table “they are used to going through the hassle of promoting a movie, posing for pictures, dealing with the transformations you need to go through for a specific character…”
“Go on”
“But sometimes your schedules won’t match and this could mean being separated for a long time. Also, Hollywood couples tend to attract too much attention from the media and this can seriously interfere with a couple’s intimacy”
“I see” Claire felt bad for giving Ryan the third degree. He was not guilty of any charges. He was just an actor, trying to lead a normal life within the boundaries of Hollywood.
She tried to imagine what it must feel like, being a public figure. She had felt extremely invaded by that insignificant note in the gossip column. She could only begin to grasp what his everyday life was like.
She looked up at him “I’m sorry Ryan… I didn’t mean to cross examine you”
He smiled at her stretching out his hand to rub hers “Claire, if you want to know something about me, just ask. I’m not hiding anything from you”
“I know” she smiled at him as she folded the paper, set it to the side and dove into her bagel.

Chapter 17

They sat on the beach watching the dogs run along the shore. Ryan had driven her to Emma’s so that Claire could change into her bikini and grab some extra stuff to carry with her. She found Lola sleeping in the backyard and decided to bring her along. Emma was probably working, so she left a note just in case she got home before they did.
Ryan put some sunscreen lotion on his chest as Claire combed her wet hair and lay to dry in the sun. The water was delicious and they had fooled around in the ocean for a while before they started feeling a bit cold.
Ryan looked at Claire as she sunbathed wearing her brand new white Chanel bikini – Emma’s pick, of course- “So what about you?” he turned to face her
“Hmm?”
“What about your relationships? Are you seeing someone in New York?”
“Gosling… do you honestly think that about me? After these past two days”
“Almost three…and no” he looked up into the sky “What about the past? Have you ever been in love?”
Claire paused and breathed in “Yes”
“Would you care to elaborate on that, Ms. Brickwell?” he turned to face her again
“His name was Zach, he was a writer”
“Figures” he was instantly jealous “So, what happened?”
“He left me, for a French painter named Sophie” she blurted
“How come?”
“Well, he had published a novel… a brilliant novel, by the way, and he started getting all these invitations to promote his book abroad.”
“Why didn’t you go with him?”
“I did, the first few times… but then I stopped. I don’t know why. Looking back now, I guess I shouldn’t have. Paris was the last one. He insisted I go with him… you know because of the whole romantic thing attached to Paris?”
He nodded
“But I refused, came up with some lame excuse about having too much work to do. Then a week after he had left, he called from Paris and dropped the bomb. He had met the most wonderful woman and had fallen crazy in love with her. Damn French women!”
“He never came back?” he was moved by her story
“Nope, stayed in Paris. Moved in with her”
‘How long was this ago?”
“Three years, give or take a month”
“How did you feel about it?”
“At the beginning I was devastated of course… But eventually I moved on”
“Have you dated anyone else since? I mean, other than me” he winked at her smiling
She smiled back at him “I dated a stock broker named Scott for almost a year”
“A stock broker? I would have never pictured you with a stock broker”
“And you would’ve been right. It was a disaster right from the start. But he was pretty decent to me the whole time”
“And after that?”
“No” she shook her head vigorously “I mean, of course my friends have tried the occasional hook up…all of them a distant second to a cup of coffee and a good book”
“Ouch! A bit harsh, don’t you think?”
“Well, you don’t wanna experience the dating scene in New York. Believe me; it’s straight out of a horror movie”
“LA’s pretty much the same, babe. Don’t worry.” He paused “Have you talked to Zach after your break up?”
“No. Bill… Bill’s my editor, keeps in touch with him… I know this. But he goes out of his way to avoid bringing him up in any conversation”
He paused and sat upright “Claire?”
“Yeah?”
He was afraid to ask “If Zach came back from Paris looking for you… What would you do?”
“He’s not coming back, Ryan” she turned her face to sun again, closing her eyes.
“Ok, but just for the sake of argument, if he did? Would you take him back?”
Claire paused to consider this for a second. Ryan waited, feeling his heart pounding in his chest.
“No. I don’t think I would” she sounded convincing. But Claire knew, in the back of her head that she wasn’t. She didn’t know what it would feel like to see him again. It was the first time she had lied to Ryan, and she hoped it would be the last... A little white lie, she thought. After all, Zach had probably married Sophie and was now the father of two kids named Ettienne and Jean Paul who ran around the backyard of the house they owned in the outskirts of Paris… Of course she had made all this up. Claire really didn’t know where Zach was, or what he was up to.


Chapter 18

Claire and Ryan walked into Emma’s letting the dogs out into the backyard. She looked around the house for Emma but she was nowhere to be seen.
“She’s not home” Claire looked at Ryan as he placed her bag on the living room couch, walked up to where she was standing and put his arms around her waist.
Her scent reminded him of a warm summer breeze, as she softly rubbed the sand off his arms.
He looked at the floor “Don’t worry,” she said “I’m gonna need to vacuum anyway. Do you think I could borrow Rosa for a while?” she smiled
They held each other in the middle of room and kissed; amazed at how familiar it felt to them now. She stopped and looked at him. “Don’t you ever work, Gosling?”
“As a matter of fact, I have an early meeting tomorrow”
“Good.”
“Good?” he looked down at her confused
“I told you I didn’t want to be a nuisance. Besides, I need to spend some time with Emma.”
“Does that mean you’re not coming back home with me tonight?” Ryan frowned at her
“Gosling, don’t you think we need to slow down a bit?”
“No” he kissed her again
She kissed him back and pushed him off slightly “Seriously, though… I’ve been here less than four days and have spent three with you”
“So?” he shrugged “I like being with you”
Claire smiled and pinched his nose affectionately.
“Now…” she tapped his chest “How about finding some food in this house? I’m famished!”
Ryan nodded in excitement.

They ate outside: turkey sandwiches, coleslaw and coke. Ryan sat back and lit a cigarette.
“What is the meeting about? The one you’re having tomorrow morning. Are you starting to shoot another film?
“Not yet… They’re actually sending me the script today.”
“Is it another love story?”
He grinned “I don’t know much about it… I only know Bob De Niro is interested”
“Really? Wow! Have you ever worked with him before? It must be quiet an experience!”
“No… never” he took a drag “I’ve always admired his work. That’s what got me interested in the project in the first place.” He paused. “I’m not crazy about big studio productions, but I guess it would be a learning experience”
Claire sipped some coke and sighed. “What does Chris do? He seems to be pretty well off”
“Chris is a producer… A pretty talented one, by the way. He’s helping me out with a small private project I’ve been working on for a while now”
“Really? Are you thinking about directing your own movie?”
“Something like that… it’s nowhere near ready, though”
“Ok…” she paused and stared at him bashfully “Ryan?”
“Shoot” he could tell she was going to ask something important
“You really love what you do, don’t you?”
“Yeah…” he took another drag
“And LA is the perfect place to live in when you’re in the movie business, right?”
“I guess… but not necessarily.” He considered for a second what she was asking. Did she want him to move up north? Is that what she meant? “What about you?” he said “You could write anywhere” he pointed at her with his cigarette.
“Well, I teach a class at Columbia, so living is Manhattan is… convenient. Besides I’ve always been an east coaster”
“New York is awesome... I’m not crazy about the weather, though. It can get pretty cold.”
“Cold? You’re Canadian for God’s sake!” Claire laughed
“I’ve haven’t lived in Canada for quite some time now. Let’s say I’ve gotten used to warm weather”
They overheard the front door as it slammed shut. Lola barked and walked into the kitchen.
Claire got up. “It’s probably Em” she began to clean up the table.
“Let me help you with that” Ryan put out his cigarette and got up, gathering dishes and bowls as he followed her inside.
Emma walked into the kitchen and found them placing the dirty dishes in the sink.
“Hey, you two!” she yelled
“Hi, Em” they both turned to greet her smiling
“I see you’ve been enjoying this beautiful day at the beach”
“Yeah” Claire turned on the faucet as Ryan put in a couple of spoons and forks “We took Lola with us”
Emma bent down and rubbed Lola behind the ears “Good for her” She then opened the refrigerator helping herself to a bottle of Evian water. “So…” she smiled at Ryan after taking a few sips “How was the party at Chris Bukowski’s last night?”
Claire glanced at Ryan and turned to stare at Emma, confused “How did you know we where at Chris Bukowski’s?” Ryan looked as bewildered as Claire.
Emma explained. It seemed Chris was a client of Matt’s. Matt had actually been involved in the sale of the house he owned at the beach.
“So? That still doesn’t explain the fact the you knew we where there last night”
“Well, Cee… Matt called me this morning to tell me he saw a picture of you and Ryan in the Entertainment Section of the LA Times.”
Claire blushed… “I never pictured Matt as the kind of guy who would read the Entertainment Section”
“He doesn’t, but his secretary does… and loves Ryan, by the way” she pointed at him with her bottle “He was walking by her desk and it caught his attention”
Claire was furious. “Well, they got it all wrong!” she kept washing and rinsing the dishes.
Ryan rubbed her shoulders “Relax, honey… It’s just gossip. No one takes it seriously”
Emma laughed. She winked at Ryan who smiled back “So, Cee…Should we both start calling you Allie?”
Claire dropped the dish she was washing, dried off her hands and sneered pointing at her “That’s it! You’re dead!”
Ryan burst out laughing as Claire ran after Emma who screamed and ran into the living room laughing wildly.
He walked into the next room to find Claire on the couch kneeling on top of Emma, tickling her as she begged for mercy.
Hmmm... he thought .. Quite a pleasant view
Claire stopped and sat beside Emma on the couch laughing. They were both out of breath.
He stood in front of them, shaking his head and laughing. “You’re both crazy, you know that?”
They nodded and kept on laughing.Ryan understood he had to leave. Claire needed to spend some alone with her friend and he had to make an early start tomorrow. “Listen kids, I should get going”
“Party pooper” Emma stuck out her tongue, still trying to catch her breath
He smiled and gave a slight whistle. Instantly George ran into the room. “Let’s go George. We need to give these ladies some space”
He waved at Emma “It’s been great seeing you again, Em”
Emma smiled and waved back “Likewise” she paused “Don’t be a stranger”
He looked back at her knowingly and shook his head. Claire got up and walked him to the front lawn.

As George jumped into the jeep and sat on the passenger’s seat, he turned and grabbed Claire by the waist. “I had a really good time today, Claire” he brushed off the lock of hair that covered her eye.
“Me too” Claire wrapped her arms around him
They kissed, completely lost in one another as he moaned in pain and got into the jeep.
“I’m gonna miss you tonight” he gazed at her as she stood next to him
Claire smiled “Thanks, Ryan. Good luck tomorrow”
He started the engine and bent over to kiss her once more “I’ll call you”
“You do that” she waved as he drove off.
Claire walked back in the house to find Emma still sitting on the couch. She closed the door behind her, leaning on it for a second as she yelled at Emma “Oh my God!”
Emma smiled. She hadn’t seen her friend this excited in a long time.


Chapter 19

Claire sat on Emma’s bed waiting impatiently. “What’s taking you so long?” she yelled
“Hey” Emma walked in with a huge bowl of popcorn in one hand and two bottles of beer in the other “Hold your horses, will ya! I was just adding some salt” She lifted the bowl as she placed the bottles on the coasters that lay on her bedside table.
“I was about to start off without you” Claire lifted the remote control pointing at the TV
“It doesn’t matter. I’ve seen this movie already” Emma pointed out smugly
Claire looked at the DVD case it had come in. It featured a young man holding a woman in the rain.
“It doesn’t look at all like him” Claire examined the case from a shorter distance.
“Well, it’s him” Emma took the case from her “Now hit play” She then arranged the pillows behind her back, setting the bowl on her lap
Claire turned to lie on her stomach, lifting her head with both arms as the movie started. Emma tapped her shoulder with a tissue box. Claire took it and set it on the floor in front of her.
She was instantly grasped by the scenery and soundtrack. Claire knew what the story was about; she had read the novel a couple of years ago. She was not crazy about Sparks’ style but thought he had good ideas story wise.

As the end credits rolled she sat facing Emma, wiping the tears off her eyes.
Emma smiled as she chewed. “So, what did you think?”
“Rachel McAdams is very beautiful” She stretched for a tissue “They look really good together, Em”
“Cee… what are you saying?” Emma laughed lightly
“I’m saying I understand everything now.”
“Huh?” Emma frowned, confused
“Well” she crossed her legs “If I hadn’t met Ryan the way I did, and these past few days hadn’t been as wonderful as they have been… I would be rooting for them to get back together too” she blew her nose
“Cee… it’s just a movie. It’s not real”
“But it was… I mean, they did go out, you know?”
“Yes, I know and I’m really happy for them. But it’s over now. It has been for quite some time, you know?”
“They have so much in common” she lifted the DVD case and gazed at it.
“Meaning?”
“Well… he’s an actor…she’s an actress, they’re both young and beautiful…”
“And?”
“Em… have you been paying any attention to what I’ve been saying here?”
“Yes... and it is because I have been listening, that I can tell you you’re full of shit” she took the case from her
“I beg you pardon, Ms Peters?” Claire was appalled
“You heard me!”
“And what is that supposed to mean?”
“It means you’re afraid to admit that you’re falling for this guy!”
“What has that got to do with anything?”
“It has everything to do. You’re not going to use this as an excuse to shut off your feelings for him”
“I never said that”
“But you’re thinking about it, Cee.” Emma took a deep breath “Look… Zach was a jerk and I know he hurt you. But you’re not going to give up on men altogether because of one failed relationship, are you?”
“No…”
“Ryan is great and he obviously likes you. Why don’t you just sit back and enjoy the ride?”
“I dunno, Em”
“Exactly, you don’t know… so don’t start jumping into conclusions just yet, ok?”
“I don’t think I’m right for him”
“Why don’t you let him decide that?… He’s a big guy, you know?
“I know… It’s just that…”
“Enough… I’ve had it with you. Now get out of my bed. I have to wake up early tomorrow and I need to get some sleep. I can’t deal with you when to get into silly mode”
Claire got up and walked out of her room.
“Cee…” she turned to look back at Emma
“I love you, you know that, don’t you?”
Claire nodded
“But sometimes…” she lifted her hands pretending to strangle her “I really want to smother you” she winked smiling
Claire smiled back.

She walked into her room completely lost in her thoughts. She desperately needed to see Ryan. She wanted him to hold her and tell her that everything was going to be alright. To tell her that his relationship with Rachel was truly over and that he wanted her now, oblivious of what the rest of the world thought.
She got into the shower, letting the hot water wash off her tears. What’s happening to me? Why am I acting so stupid? She remembered the last time she had cried for a man. It had been three months since Zach had called her with the terrible news. She sat in Bill’s office holding a tissue to her face as he read the pages that lay in front of him.
“A bit dark” he said as he turned the last page. He paused and looked up smiling “But I love it! When can I read some more?”
“I’m working on it, Bill”
“Yeah… I can see that. You have been coming up with really good stuff lately! I knew you were good when I first recommended you… but this… this is Pulitzer Prize material!” he sounded excited “You’re even turning out to be better than Za…”
Claire looked up at him
He paused “Sorry, I’m a putz”
She blew her nose and sighed “It’s ok Bill. You’re not going to pretend he doesn’t exist. I mean, you two were friends before we even met”
“Yeah… you’re right. But still, I didn’t know he was going to act like such as asshole!” he paused “Do you miss him?” he looked concerned
“Sometimes…” she took the cigarette that lay lit on the ashtray in front of her “When I go to the MoMA, when I eat a cinnamon & raisins bagel… when I see you”
Bill stared at the floor “I can arrange for them to assign you a new editor. It would break my heart, but I’d hate to be the one to cause you any pain”
“Not in this life, Bill. You’re one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. I could never pull it off without you”
“Well, for what it’s worth” he sighed “If I had a woman like you…. I would never have let you go” he smiled and put his hand on the side of his mouth as if he was letting her in on a secret “Now don’t tell Tess I said this or she’ll probably poison my food”
Claire laughed and handed him the cigarette.
He took a drag.
“So…” he handed her the unfinished manuscript “I can’t wait to read more of this. Edwina is such a powerful character! Her moving to Vienna was completely unexpected!”

Claire walked out of the bathroom feeling better. She convinced herself that all she needed was a good nights rest. As she massaged her hair with a towel she noticed a set of keys lying on her bed on top of a note. She picked it up
These are the keys to my SUV. It’s parked in the garage. Take it and go see him. Love , Em.
PS: I still want to smother you!
Claire grinned at the note. She then took a moment to stare at the keys as she held them playfully in one hand.

Chapter 20

George barked
“What is it boy?” Ryan picked up the remote control and set the TV to mute. “Are you hungry?”
He barked again and ran towards the door, sniffing the floor beneath it.
“It’s pretty late to go out for a walk now Georgie boy”
As if caught in some kind of frenzy, he continued to sniff wildly and wag his tail.
Ryan scratched his chin noticing George’s leash untouched hanging from a chair. That’s odd, he thought, he always grabs his leash when he wants to go out.
“You’re trying to tell me something, aren’t you?”
George trotted towards him lifting up his paw to touch his leg
“You know, you’re acting pretty weird tonight” he looked at him as he got up and walked towards the door. George walked beside him, wagging his tail feverishly.
Ryan looked through the peep hole. There was no one there.
He looked at George “What is it… fuck with Ryan’s head day?”
He began to walk back to the couch… George barked once more… again sniffing beneath the door.
“Ok… I’ve had it with you!”
He stormed towards the door and flew it wide open… “See…” he looked to one side “there’s no one the…” as he turned to check the other side he found Claire standing against the wall, deliberating on whether she should knock on Ryan’s door. They both jumped back startled.
“Hey!” he smiled at her, pleasantly surprised
“Hey!” she blushed “Am I interrupting anything?”
He was wearing pajama bottoms and a towel around his neck. He smelled like he had just stepped out of the shower. Claire gazed at him almost intoxicated
“What? No…not at all” he grabbed her, planting a long wet kiss on her mouth “What a pleasant surprise!”
She stood in front of him half paralyzed.
Ryan looked at her. “Are you planning on spending the night in my hallway?” he teased
“Huh? No.”
He pulled her into his apartment laughing.
Claire wore light faded jeans, a black tube top and her open toe sandals. Her hair was still wet from the shower. She walked towards the counter dropping the car keys and a sweater.
He looked down at George “Thanks, man. I owe you”
George sat in front of him sticking out his tongue and panting proudly
Ryan grabbed both ends of the towel that lay across his neck. “Couldn’t keep away, could you Brickwell?”
She smiled shrugging as she slid her hands into her pockets
He smiled back; his heart racing at the thought of touching her soft, tanned skin.
“I’m glad…” He walked up to her and gently rubbed her lips with his thumb.
“Ryan?” she looked up at him
“Claire?” he slowly moved his mouth close to hers
She smiled mischievously - she had been planning to do this all the way there - She pushed him off her “Why didn’t you write me? Why? I waited for you for seven years… and now it’s too late!”
Ryan laughed so hard he broke into a cackle.
“Gotcha!” she laughed and punched him playfully on his stomach running towards the other end of the room before he retaliated.
“Oh, you’re in big trouble now” he jumped out to grab her by the waist as she struggled to free herself. He lifted her, turning her to face him as he grabbed the back of her head and kissed her laughing. She put her hands against his shoulders trying the break off.
George barked from the couch were he lay motionless.
Claire glanced at George “Quite the fierce type, isn’t he?”
Ryan looked at him “He’s got the instincts of a killer, only he lacks the disposition”
She burst into laughter.
He focused back on Claire as he held her in the air and slowly began to slide his hand down her back.
Claire stopped him “Oh no, Mister. We both need to get some sleep”
“We’re young…we can handle it” he kissed the upper part of her breasts.
She grabbed his hair and pulled him away. “I mean it, Gosling. You have an important meeting tomorrow. I want you to be awake and alert”
“Ok, Brickwell, point taken” he moaned resting his forehead on her chest. He looked up at her “Can we at least cuddle?”

Claire stepped out of the bathroom wearing the top of his pajamas. Ryan moaned and covered his eyes. “Brickwell, you’re killing me!”
She turned off the lights and got into bed. Ryan wrapped both arms around her pressing her body against his.
Claire sighed peacefully “Good night, Ryan”
“Good night, Claire”
They both closed their eyes.