Writer's Block (Chapter 97 to 101)

Chapter 97

They walked into the Starbucks coffee shop in Columbus Avenue. Claire ordered two cappuccinos Grande as Cat rushed to use the restrooms. After adding some cinnamon to hers, she picked a table on the far end corner and set both cups down, waiting.
“God, I really needed that!” Cat smiled as she set her purse down, and slid into the booth across Claire. “Now… back to you” She suddenly frowned “You’re kidding, right?” and as she added some sugar to her coffee “You broke up with Ryan?”
Claire sipped and nodded
“Why? What happened?”
Claire set her cup down and breathed in “Well… first there was this misunderstanding about a woman he had met at the hotel bar the other night… some Maxine Marco”
“Maxine De Marco?”
“Yeah… you know her?”
“No… but her dad’s pretty famous. He’s like a super billionaire. Maxine’s probably just a spoiled and bored socialite”
“Ok”
“Whatever, go on please… What kind of misunderstanding?”
Claire proceeded to describe the events at her apartment on Monday night, ending up with what she had overheard from the maids, while waiting for the elevator the next morning.
“No!... They really said that?”
She nodded “Verbatim”
“So? What happened next?”
She went on to tell her about Mandi’s sudden condition, her trip to Canada with Ryan, and the mixed emotions this situation had raised in her.
“Anyway” she sipped “He promised nothing had happened, and I believe him”
Cat gazed at her confused… “Ok, but that does not explain the fact that you decided to break up with him”
“Well, it’s rather complicated, Cat… You see, after this whole De Marco incident, it all became clear to me. I can’t deal with this. The pressure of loving someone who’s the object of other women’s fantasies and desires…” she breathed in “I’m not cut out for that.”
“Have you discussed this with him at any point?”
She shook her head “Why would I? It’s not as if he can help it. He’s a movie star, it comes with the job. Besides… I honestly feel we’re not right for each other”
“Not right for each other?”
“Well, Ryan’s career is sky rocketing to the top; he can’t be bothered with my silly insecurities and petty needs. Being with me would only hold him back… prevent him from reaching his full potential.” She licked her lips “I did this for both of us”
“Bullshit, Claire”
She stared back at Cat appalled “I’m sorry Ms Keener, what was that?”
“You heard me! That’s a huge and smelly pile BS if you ask me. You broke up with Ryan cuz you’re afraid. Afraid to get hurt, afraid he will stop loving you, afraid he won’t commit. Leave him, before he leaves you, right?” she picked up her cup “You’re a chicken, Claire.” She paused and sipped smiling. Claire stared back at her in amazement. She went on “Hey, I’m not saying I don’t understand your motives, I do… all the way. Doesn’t make you any less of a chicken, though”
“Well… maybe you’re right. Maybe I am scared shitless of getting hurt again. The truth is I honestly feel and firmly believe I’ve done the right thing” she lifted her chin as a gesture of reassurance.
Cat chuckled under her breath and nodded “As long as you’re ok with it…. I’m ok with it”
“Good.” Claire paused and stared back at her in watery eyes “I really need your support now, Cat”
Catherine stretched out her arm to stroke Claire’s hand affectionately; and fixing her gaze on hers asked “Are you sure this is what you want?”
Claire sighed, rubbed her moistening eyes and nodded.
There was a pause. They both sipped their coffee, and stared out the window into the street.

It had been easy for her at the set today. Ryan was still in Canada, and John had been beside her the entire day; making sure she was ok, and going out of his way to cheer her up. Mark double checked every scene with her, and Penelope mentioned her fiancée (the Spanish actor, Javier Bardem) was flying in next week, and wondered if she would like to join them for dinner while he was in town.
Bob and Cat where going through some make up touches for their next scene, Claire seized the moment “Mark?”
“Yep?”
“Can we keep this to ourselves?”
“What’s that, Brickwell?”
“My break up with Ryan. Can we not make a fuss out of it?… with the rest of the cast, I mean”
“Sure…” he took off his cap and fixed his hair (Claire knew what this gesture meant) “It will be hard, though… I guess they’ll probably figure it out eventually”
She nodded “You’re right… but still”
“Don’t worry, Brickwell. We’re all grown ups here. It’ll be alright”
She licked her lips and forced a smile
He turned to look ahead, his gaze lost on the set “I spoke to him this morning”
“You did?”
He nodded “Yeah, he’s flying back this evening”
“Oh…” she breathed in “Good. I mean, you’ll finally get to catch up with your schedule”
He turned to gaze at her “Claire, will you be able to handle seeing him everyday? You know, I could arrange for …”
Claire jumped in “No way!” she shook her head “I can totally handle it, you needn’t worry, Mark. Honestly, I’ll be fine”


Catherine set down her cup and turned to look at her. After the brief period of time they’d know each other, she had grown to love her almost like a sister. Suddenly, she felt a desperate need to cheer her up “So… Does Hunter know about this already?” Catherine smiled mischievously, as she stirred her cappuccino
Claire, rather startled by the sudden change in mood, turned to stare at her inquisitively “What?”
“You know… Hunter… Mc Dreamy and Mc Steamy all rolled up into one?”
“Damn it Cat! Grow up! You’re honestly terrible” Claire couldn’t help smiling at Cat’s untimely comment
“Hey… I’m just saying you should keep your options open… that’s all” she laughed as Claire threw paper napkins at her.


George barked and wagged his tail feverishly
“Hey, Buddy!” Ryan knelt to hug his dog “I’ve missed ya! Have they been nice to you? Huh?” George licked his face enthusiastically as Ryan pushed him off “C’mon… stop that!” and laughed.
As they wrestled playfully on the carpet, Ryan’s phone rang. He stopped, pushed George off him gently and jumped to grab it. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he closed his eyes forcefully and breathed in before checking the screen. Could it be her? He opened his eyes, checked the screen, and breathed out in slight disappointment.
“Hey Shields”
“Hey, Gosling… I heard Mandi was sick. Is she ok?”
“Yeah… she’s fine. How did you know?”
“Zoe called… she told me you flew up there for a few days”
“Yeah… shit, now that you mention it… I never got to see her! She’s probably really mad at me”
“I don’t think so… she’s not dumb you know. I’m sure she understands… Are you back in New York?”
“Yeah… just arrived, actually”
“So, how’s the Big Apple been treating ya?”
“Ok, I guess…”
“You don’t sound too convinced”
“Yeah… well… I’m not”
“What’s going on?”
“Claire left me” Ryan dropped back to lie on the bed
“How come? Did you guys fight?”
“No… she just left. I dunno, Zach... it’s all very confusing. She said it was something about not wanting to hold me back and me leaving her for another woman”
“Huh! Did you give her any reasons to believe you were interested in someone else?”
“What? No!... Well… there was this brief incident at my hotel. But I told her nothing had happened, and she said she believed me. I dunno… as much as I love Claire, I have to admit she has a particular way of looking at things”
“Is this final?”
He sighed “I hope not. I can’t really say.”
“Maybe you should give this whole thing sometime to cool off…”
“Yeah… I dunno. It’s not going to be easy considering I’ll be seeing her at work everyday”
“I hear ya… listen Ry, she’ll come around eventually, trust me on this one”
“Hmmm… I hope you’re right. Ok… but enough about me… what’s up with you Shields? What have you been up to?”
“Well... I’ve been working on your song. I met with one of the guys from Virgin Records America”
“Virgin Records?” Ryan sat upright “Wow, Shields…that’s awesome!”
“Yeah… I know… anyway he loved it… wondered when we could both get together and come up with something more… permanent, so to speak”
“Uhm… shit Zach…. I’ve got at least another month of shooting here.”
“Don’t worry… I’ll think of something. Listen kiddo, I gotta go… I’ll call you soon, ok?”
Ryan nodded and stretched himself “Ok”
“And take it easy with the whole Claire situation… I can always fly up there and talk some sense into her if you want me to?”
He chuckled under his breath “Yeah, right… I’ll let you know. Take care, man”

He stepped out of the shower and browsed through his closet for trunks and a T shirt. As he did so, he came across a petite white shirt and paused. It was the shirt Claire had been wearing the night he found her asleep at his door. He lifted it placing it against his face and inhaled deeply… In sudden determination, he slid on a pair of jeans, grabbed a shir,t and headed towards the door. Just before stepping out he turned to look at George “You comin’ or what?”

Claire sat flicking through the channels in her pajamas, her gaze lost ahead. The few hours she had spent at her apartment on her own had been torture. She could see, smell and almost taste Ryan in every corner. At some point during that evening, she had actually considered moving; but discarded the foolish idea instantly. She just needed some time.
She left the TV on and walked towards the bathroom. As she stared at her reflection in the mirror and brushed her teeth meticulously, she thought she heard Ryan’s name mentioned on the news. She dashed back, her toothbrush still inside her mouth.

“Academy Award Nominee and hot Canuck, Ryan Gosling flew back to New York from his hometown this evening. The London, Ontario born actor currently working on a movie in Manhattan, took a few days off from his busy schedule, to visit his sister who had been suddenly taken ill. Sources have confirmed that Mandi Gosling – Ryan’s sister- is already back home and safe, after a minor surgical procedure.
Although the actor left for Canada with Claire Brickwell, the talented writer he’s been dating for almost two months, we were shocked to see Gosling walking out of the arrivals sector of JFK airport by himself. Have Gosling and Brickwell call it quits?”
The news flash included a few candids of Ryan walking out of the airport. He looked tired and hardly smiled at any of the reporters, who bombarded him with questions about the status of his relationship with Claire.
She sighed, turned off the TV and collapsed onto the couch. Letting go was going to be harder than she had anticipated. Ryan was everywhere. Forgetting about Zach had been hard, but other than Bill, and the odd flashbacks of their time together, clogging her mind the first few months; Claire had been able to lead a life free of the constant reminder of him. Ryan, on the other hand, was not only going to be working with her for at least another whole month, but would probably pop up constantly in hundreds of news flashes and newspaper articles, eagerly following the production of Sins.
Feeling trapped, Claire walked back to the bathroom sensing how the adamant determination in her seemed to deflate helplessly. She paused to stare at her reflection in the mirror “C’mon Brickwell, you can do this!” and forced a smile. She then chuckled lightly, noticing the white foam coming out of her mouth as she held her toothbrush in one hand. Keeping her gaze fixed on the mirror, she leaned closer to examine a small zit, that seemed to be relentlessly finding its way across the side of her chin “Right… that’s exactly what I needed. A confidence booster”. She shook her head, breathed out and began to wash off the toothpaste. Just as she turned off the faucet, the doorbell rang.
She paused and glanced at her watch: 8:05 pm. Who could it be?
She dried off and, still clinging onto the towel, walked towards the door, stopping to check through the peephole. All she could see was the empty hallway. Claire shrugged and started back for her room. Again, the doorbell. She tossed the towel across her shoulder and rushed to open.

He walked into the hotel bar with a sense of satisfaction. Kate Brickwell had not only sounded happy to hear from him, but had even asked him over for lunch the next day. Claire’s family had always been very supportive of their relationship, being well aware of how Claire’s writing career had blossomed under his tutelage.
Zach picked a booth and ordered a White Russian, relishing on the subtle atmosphere of the hotel bar. As he sat back to enjoy it, a sudden rush of inspiration captured him, and he gestured one of the waitresses eagerly. “I’m sorry, could I borrow a pen?”
“Sure” The strawberry blonde waitress nodded and smiled while she searched her pockets for an extra pen. As she handed it to him, their gazes locked and she gasped.
He looked at her inquisitively as she covered her mouth in excitement “Is everything ok?”
“Oh my God! You’re him, aren’t you?”
“If by that your implying I’m some kind of deity… no, I’m not. Sorry to disappoint you”
She laughed and shook her head “No, I meant… You’re Zachary Wilder, the writer!”
He nodded, wondering how far his reputation had preceded him.
“Wow! I read your novel… well, one of them. I plan on reading the other one soon”
“Which one did you read?”
“A Modern Day Tragedy” she glanced at the bar and instantly sat across from him “It was brilliant! Honestly… heartbreaking and exhilarating.” She fixed her eyes on him and placed her hand on her chest “Your novel restored my faith in true love”
“Really?” he was honestly flattered
“Completely” she stretched out her hand “I’m Amy, by the way”
“Well… Thank you, Amy. I appreciate your positive feedback” he sipped
“Well I believe you should always let someone know when they’ve done something worthy of praise” she smiled
“It’s a great philosophy… thanks”
“Anytime” she paused to gaze at him in admiration
Zach took another sip and sat back, his hazel eyes still focused on hers “So… Amy, when will your shift be over?”
“In about..." She glanced at her watch "10 minutes. Why?”
He set his glass down “Well, I was wondering if you would like to join me for a drink”
Amy lifted her eyebrows “Are you kidding me?”
Zach shook his head “No, actually I would be honored if you did”
“Ok! Yeah… definitely!” she stood up and before walking back towards the bar “So…I guess I’ll see you in a bit”
He smiled and lifted his glass “Looking forward to it, Amy”

Chapter 98

She sat to remove her makeup still slightly shocked by their recent conversation. Patrick didn’t want kids? She wondered if he meant he didn’t want kids now, while he was still a junior partner at the firm, or if he meant he didn’t want kids ever. She knew Patricia and Seamus had waited until they were financially stable, before they chose to get pregnant, but their situation had been different. Patrick and Victoria were more than well off… she could actually stop working altogether and they’d still be able to afford a life of luxury. Was it because he was afraid she’d transfer her affections to her children? She needed to clear things up with him. This was no minor issue.
She turned to watch him as he stepped out of the shower and began to shave.
“Honey?”
“Yeah?” he yelled over the buzzing sound of the electric razor
“What would you like for dinner?”
“Uhm…” he stopped shaving
She waited
“I’ll probably just grab a quick bite with the guys”
“You’re going out?”
He continued to shave “Yeah… our team just landed a new deal, and we thought we’d go out and celebrate… You don’t mind, do you?” he turned the razor off and splashed some aftershave “I’d ask you to come, but it’s going to be just us guys… You’re not interested, are you?”
Victoria shook her head and turned to stare back at the mirror “No”
He walked into their bedroom and leaned behind her, wrapping his arms around her.
“Are you ok?”
Victoria breathed in “I just thought we could finish off the conversation we started on the ride back from Dean’s”
He bent to kiss her cheek and walked towards the closet “What’s that?”
“You know… about you not wanting children”
As he examined a blue shirt “Right… What about that?”
“What exactly did you mean?” she turned to look at him “You don’t want to have kids now or you don’t want to have kids, period?”
He buttoned his shirt and slid on one of his designer suits. “Well… I dunno, haven’t thought about it really…”
She walked up to him and fixed his tie “It would be such a crime… I mean, consider how beautiful our kids would be”
He smiled and pecked her lips. “I don’t need more beauty in my life, honey… you’re more than any man could possibly want”
She stepped away “I’m being serious about this, Patrick”
He glanced and his watch “I know, babe… listen, I gotta go. We’ll talk about this some other time, ok?” He kissed her forehead affectionately and rushed off.
After hearing the front door slam shut, Victoria stood paralyzed as her eyes began to moisten. Instantly, she grabbed her coat and left the apartment.

She stepped into the deserted hallway and looked both ways. Scratching the back of her head in confusion, she finally turned back to walk inside. As she did so, she noticed a navy blue organza flared bustier dress with white lace inserts, and a pair of matching stilettos, hanging on her door. Bewildered, she grabbed it and examined it further. It was from Christian Dior’s latest collection! (at least it said so on the label). She stretched her arm out again, to admire it from a distance; stuck to one of the delicate shoes she saw a note: Put this on and wait outside. You’ve got 15 minutes. Don’t ask, just do it.
It wasn’t signed. Claire paused to consider for a moment, shrugged, and rushed into her room to change.

He ran all the way there. He needed to see her. As he got to her block, he slowed down to catch his breath. George treaded happily beside him. Suddenly, only a few feet away from her building, he stopped in shock. Claire, breathtaking in a blue dress, laughed hysterically as John Hunter kissed her hand and helped her into a black limo. Instantly, in an effort to avoid being seen, he rushed towards the next door building entrance, and stuck his back to the wall, tugging at George’s leash and holding his breath. A few minutes later, he watched them drive away.


“Is she real?”
“Hmmm?” Zach looked at her inquisitively
“The woman from your novel… does she exist?” Amy sounded childishly intrigued
He sighed, nodded and took another sip “As a matter of fact, Amy… she does exist. Both in my mind and in real life”
“Wow! You must really love her. Writing an entire novel about her… it is the most romantic thing I’ve even seen!”
“You think so?”
“Yeah… it is the ultimate expression of devotion. Who could resist something like that?”
Zach chuckled under his breath, thinking how Claire seemed unmoved by his ‘romantic gesture’
“May I ask where she is now?”
“You may… and I have no idea, Amy”
“Well... why don’t you go find her?”
“I am… I have been… and I will be”
Amy frowned confused “Ok… whatever that means. Do you know if she read your novel?”
“I think she did… I’m not positive… but I’m almost certain she did”
She paused and lifted her glass of wine “Did you actually leave her for another woman, like it says in the book?”
Zach nodded “Biggest mistake of my life…” he lifted his glass once more “I’m more than willing to pay for it… for as long as I have to”
“I’m sure she’ll want you back… no woman in her right mind would give up on true love”

John stretched out his hand smiling. Claire, feeling slightly uneasy on her new heels, grabbed on to him and stepped out of the limo. She browsed the scene in awe, as John escorted her across a narrow path surrounded by exquisitely manicured gardens. At a distance, she spotted an English Victorian Style Mansion. Its grandeur enhanced by beautiful ponds, cascading waterfalls and charming gazebos. She recognized the place from pictures she had once seen, it was Westbury Manor. Claire had always wanted to come here. She had heard about the delicious and renowned cuisine, the dreamlike atmosphere, and the exclusive parties boasted by this unique place.
A few feet away from the outdoor restaurant, Claire jumped back and grabbed onto John, as a wandering peacock treaded the path beside them.
John laughed as she pressed her body against his chest “Relax, Claire… it’s a harmless peacock”
Claire smiled foolishly and broke off, her hand still gripping his.
A tall man in a black tuxedo walked up to them “Mr. Hunter… so glad to have you here. Please follow me”
Claire turned to stare at him and whispered “They know you?”
John smiled and shrugged as they followed the host towards their table.
After choosing the wine, John sat back to gaze at Claire who had eagerly noticed a live band playing softly, a few feet away from their candlelit table.
“Wow, John… this is so beautiful”
“Well… it pales in comparison to you”
Claire blushed slightly and rubbed her dress, relishing on the soft fabric “And the dress….” She smiled “How did you know my size?”
“Vera” he nodded at the waiter as he tasted the wine
“Right… did she pick it out?”
He shook his head “No… I was invited to the Christian Dior fashion show while you where in Canada… when I saw that dress, I just knew it would be perfect for you”
“Well, I dunno if it’s perfect for me or rather if I’m perfect for it… but it’s definitely breathtaking”
He handed her a glass of wine “Try this… it’s priceless and quite an experience”
She smiled and sipped gently, pausing to savor the delicate subtlety of this priceless wine.
John winked at her as she nodded and licked her lips “Would you like me to order for you?”
“Sure… in this, as in many other departments, I trust you completely, Hunter”
He ordered Salmon en Croute and Duck al Bosco, and was instantly complimented by the waiter on his excellent choices. She watched him almost hypnotized as he dismissed the waiter’s flattery and stood up. He took the glass from her, set it on the table and stretched out his hand “Shall we?”
Claire looked up, still mildly intoxicated by his sparkling green eyes and graceful moves. She took his hand and followed him as he led her to the dance floor.


Zach moaned as the alarm clock went off. He climbed clumsily out of bed and walked towards the bathroom in search of an aspirin; his head still spinning from the countless White Russians he had consumed last night. He took a quick shower and hurried out of the hotel and into the busy street. After buying a few gifts at the Beacon Hill shops, he rushed back and changed into something more appropriate. As he was getting ready to leave, his cell phone rang “Marcus”
“Hey Wilder… is everything ok?”
“Yeah… everything’s fine.”
“Where are you staying?”
“At the Liberty Hotel”
“Quite an interesting place I’ve heard”
“Yeah…” he breathed out “Did you want to tell me something?”
“Well… I thought you might like to know that you’ve been nominated for a National Book Award…”
“Great” Zach glanced at his watch impatiently “Fiction or Non?”
“Ha… they mentioned they had a hard time deciding on that… they finally went for Fiction”
Zach chuckled under his breath, hoping the people at the judging panel had gotten into a heated argument about it.
“Not too impressed, are you Wilder?”
“I’m sorry, Marcus… It’s wonderful news… really… I’m just… running late. Can I call you when I get back?”
“Sure… no problem” he paused “Zach?”
“Yeah?”
“Nothing”
“C’mon… what it is?”
“I’m just worried… that’s all”
“What about?”
“Zach… promoting your novel is important. You get that don’t you?”
“Of course I get it. Why are you asking me this?”
“You just seem so distracted”
“Believe me Marcus… I have never been more focused in my life. Now, go celebrate with Stuart for me. I’ll see you in a few days”
“Ok… bye Zach. Take care of yourself”
He hung up the phone, grabbed one of the bags, and hurried out of his room.

Chapter 99

She closed her eyes and rested her head on his chest, shivering as his warm hand brushed her bare back. They moved slowly, as he led her gracefully across the dance floor to the sound of ‘More Than You Know’ and other 1940’s romantic ballads. Claire felt safe in his arms, and smiled as he bent down and placed his lips on her forehead affectionately. John knew how to make a woman feel special. She opened her eyes, noticing how other older couples gazed at them smiling, probably reminiscing on past times. As the third song came to an end, he tipped her, and she arched her back letting herself go completely. For an instant she felt weightless and free. He lifted her back as they both laughed. The band stopped for a small break, and they walked back to their table.
“I’m impressed!” she smiled at him as he fixed her chair
“Impressed?” he hurried back to his seat
“You’re a really good dancer”
“Oh… now you’re just being nice” he picked up his glass
“No I’m not… have you taken dancing lessons Hunter?”
He chuckled almost spitting his drink “No…” he wiped his mouth with his napkin “Truth is, my mom loved to dance and my father didn’t. So she basically used me as her dummy. I hated it at first, but eventually took a liking to it”
“Well, you should thank her everyday for it… there’s nothing sexier than a man who can move across a dance floor”
“So you think I’m sexy?” he grinned amused
She licked her lips bashfully “Maybe”
“Don’t worry, Brickwell... I won’t tell” he rubbed her hand and winked at her as their food arrived

He stood at the front door waiting anxiously. He hadn’t seen them in at least 4 years, and wondered what Claire had told them about him.
“Zachary Wilder…” a tall woman with soft and goddess like symmetrical features, greeted him with a smile “It has been a while, hasn’t it?” she leaned to kiss him on the cheek and stepped aside to let him in “Please, do come in”
Zach smiled and followed her inside. Kate Brickwell was an icon of elegance and finesse. Her slender body and long limbs moved weightlessly across the room, oblivious of the passing of time. Her stylish long hair, once the exact color of Claire’s, neatly tied into a bun. Her crystal blue eyes, filled with staccatos and allegros.
“Martin will be home soon. Can I offer you something to drink?”
Zach nodded as he followed her into the kitchen. He handed her the bag he was carrying “I brought a Pinot Noir… I hope you like it”
She examined the bottle closely “Ah… if it isn’t the noblest of red wines! Why don’t we have a taste?” she smiled enthusiastically, searched for a corkscrew and handed the bottle back to him.
She continued to inspect the bag “Godiva chocolates!” she slid the box back in, and folded the bag around it “Let’s keep Martin away from these… he needs to watch his cholesterol levels” Kate winked at him mischievously.
Zach laughed as he poured wine into two glasses.
“It’s so nice to see you again, Zachary” she grabbed a glass and walked towards the living room “You look wonderful”
Zach followed “Thanks… it’s great to see you too, Kate”
“How’s Paris treating you?” she sat on the couch gesturing him to sit next to her “You must be quite settled by now, after all these years. Martin was thrilled to learn you were visiting. Regardless of the fact that Claire and you are not together anymore, we have always loved and admired you… and we know Claire does to.” She sipped “Hmmm… so soft and fruity! …Anyway, you were both too young to commit back then” she went on “I also heard you wrote a novel… haven’t read it yet… but I’m definitely looking forward to it”
Zach, slightly taken aback by her relentless monologue, breathed in and took a sip. “Paris is breathtaking, and yes, after all these years I have gotten used to it”
“And your novel?”
“Indeed, I have finished a new novel, and it seems to be doing quite well, actually”
“What’s it called again?”
“A Modern Day Tragedy”
“Right… I’ve seen it on the bestseller displays of quite a few bookstores in town”
“I’m not crazy about that… but I must admit it doesn’t hurt my finances”
“Yeah… I remember how strongly you felt about ‘bestsellers’… Claire used to go on and on about how you thought it was a corruption of the art… selling books as if they were some kind of trendy items”
“Right…” he smiled recalling how Claire used to gaze at him in admiration as he babbled endlessly about his theories on how publishing firms had slaughtered the soul of poetry and prose.
“The fact that the public likes it doesn’t mean it’s any good”
Zach jumped startled. Martin Brickwell stood a few feet away from him wearing a frown on his face “After all, how many copies has Danielle Steel sold? And we can all agree her novels have butchered English Literature” he winked, grinned and stretched out his arm to greet him
Zach smiled, stood up and shook it enthusiastically “Mr. Brickwell… how are you, sir?”
“Now Zachary… the fact that you’re not dating my daughter anymore, does not give you the right to make me feel old. It’s Martin… it’s always been Martin”
“Ok, Martin…”
He sat on the armchair across from Zach and gestured him to sit, as Kate rushed to the kitchen for an extra glass of wine.
“It’s been quite a pleasant surprise Zachary”
“Thanks… I think so too”
“So… what have you been up to these days?”
“Well… basically I’ve been promoting my new novel”
“Right… kudos on that, by the way. I’m finishing a book at the moment but intend on moving onto yours as soon as I’m done”
“I’m flattered, Martin. I’ll have Marcus send you both a copy as soon as I get back”
Kate walked back into the living room holding a third glass of wine “Why don’t we move the conversation to the garden? I set the table outside… it’s such a lovely day!”

Colin collapsed onto a chair, his face buried between his hands. Eva gazed at him silently. Finally, she stood up and handed him another glass of scotch. He took it and sipped quietly. “Can I ask you something?”
She licked her lips and nodded
“Why? Why now, after all these years? Why me?”
She sighed and shrugged “I dunno, Colin… maybe it was the fact that I had enough. That I grew tired of witnessing this endless fiasco. I’m not saying I’m innocent, no. I’m probably as guilty as Seamus… or even more so. The truth is, you reach a certain point in your life when your priorities change, when you understand that being true to others and to yourself is the only thing that really matters. A point when you stop to look back on what you’ve accomplished, and feel either shame and regret, or satisfaction and self assurance. I am not proud of the way I’ve led my life; I have been your father’s willful accomplice in this, as in many other things. I have allowed him to lure me and seduce me into a life of forbidden lust and borrowed happiness. I have seen him destroy both his enemies and family alike.” She stopped to light a cigarette and pointed at him “But it was you… you and your newly found strength, what shook me. What awakened in me feelings of compassion and righteousness. Your decision to find your own path, to follow your own solitary drummer. I have walked by Ogham a thousand times this past month… struggling, contemplating, trying to find the strength to look you in the eye. And now that I have, it’s perfectly clear to me… you are all that was once good and praiseworthy about you father.” She gazed at him adoringly “I guess I felt the urge to protect you, to save you from what seemed inevitable. To let you take a peek at the whole picture, to set you free from the burden of your father’s implacable fist and feigned omnipotence.” She took another drag “And now Colin, now that you know who your father is, you are free to choose the kind of life you want to lead. You don’t owe anyone anything”
Colin shook his head as he fought back the tears “It’s not that simple, Eva”

They shared a delicious chocolate marquise for desert, as John dazzled her with hilarious anecdotes about some of the movies he had produced in the past. Claire was amazed to learn about the ludicrous requests from famous actresses he’d had to comply with, and shocked at how many iconic figures of beauty where mostly a result of talented and painfully expensive plastic surgeons.
“Of course” he added nonchalantly as he fed her the last piece of the ambrosial desert “After telling you all of this, I’m going to have to kill you”
Claire broke into a cackle, rushed to cover her mouth with her napkin, and struggled to swallow.
He smiled and sat back to sip some wine.
“Thank you, John”
“What are you thanking me for?”
“All of this, the dress, the food, the wine…” she lifted her glass“...the dancing. Everything’s been perfect.” She smiled and finished off her glass
“Well… it’s been my pleasure”
Claire glanced at her left wrist, and tapped on it foolishly. Her watch did not match the dress, and she had decided not to wear it.
John chuckled under his breath and instantly began to search for something in his coat's pockets “That reminds me” He handed her a silver box “I should’ve given it to you sooner”
Claire stared at the box in shock, unsure of what to do next
“Go on… open it”
She picked it up and opened it slowly. Inside lay a stunning Cartier La Donna polished steel watch, with a delicately breaded bracelet and funky yet stylish roman numbers. She paused to admire it “John… I couldn’t” she shook her head, still hypnotized by its glittering beauty
“Now Claire, you’ve refused to take gifts from me before, and I was ok with it, cuz you were with Ryan and yeah… maybe it was inappropriate of me. But Ryan’s out of the picture now, right? I beg you to accept this one… You don’t want me to start thinking it’s something personal against me, do you?
“It’s just… too precious… I…”
He took the watch from the box and placed it on her wrist “See, it looks amazing on you, and it matches the dress… I really don’t want to be out on a date with someone who can’t tell me the time, you know?” he winked at her and grinned
“Ok… but no more gifts, please… This has probably been the most expensive date you’ve ever been in!”
“So you admit it… it’s a date”
She laughed and hit him playfully.
“Ok…” he stood up and placed his napkin on the table “Let’s go dance… maybe burn off some of those extra calories?” he stretched his hand
Claire smiled and taking his hand followed him to the dance floor.

Chapter 100

“I’ve been thinking about leaving, doctor” she lay on the récaimer and stared at the ceiling
“And where would you go?”
She shrugged “I dunno… it doesn’t matter really… as long as it’s far away”
“Would you be taking this trip alone?”
She nodded “Most definitely”
“I think it’s a good idea Patricia, taking some time off… to relax, to recover from all the things that have been happening… To regain your strength…” Dr. Bernhardt set his pad down “I have been meaning to tell you… you look somewhat tired”
“Oh… but this wouldn’t be a vacation”
“Of course it wouldn’t … you don’t have to feel guilty about it.”
“Guilty?”
“Putting time aside for yourself while Colin’s wife is in a mental institution... Are you afraid somebody will think less of you?”
“No… Why would they?”
“Exactly. You are the pillar of your family, but you’re also a human being, Patricia. You need to find your space; and taking a few weeks off will help you find yourself beneath all this hurt and anguish”
“Doctor, I don’t think you understand”
“I do… most definitely. And believe me… you have my complete and utter approval. What’s more…” he lifted his finger in a gesture of determination “I’m prescribing you some time off”
She sat up and turned to look at him “That’s not what I meant. I meant I’m thinking about leaving, everything. And not coming back, ever”



He lay in the dark, flicking through the TV channels and rubbing George’s back. Carcasses of beer bottles spread across the room. His mind, clogged with images of Claire in a blue dress, laughing. How could everything have suddenly gone so wrong? He thought how only a week ago, his life had never been better: he was working on a great movie with the most talented people he had ever met, and had found an amazing and beautiful woman who loved him (or at least he thought she loved him). Had she suddenly transferred her affections to another man? He was instantly reminded of Shakespeare’s Hamlet ‘Frailty, thy name is woman’
He had landed on Manhattan that evening, determined to change her mind. To knock some sense into that crazy head of hers. To make her forget about her silly insecurities and childish fears. They were meant to be together, everyone thought so. He could feel it, taste it… the connection between them was beyond something physical.
And now she was with Hunter? How did this happen? He chuckled under his breath, thinking how his life at the moment slightly resembled The Notebook.
He sighed and looked at George who lay panting happily beside him “Am I supposed to build her a house now?”

“And Now Ladies and Gentlemen, I’d like to introduce our singing guest for the night. He has offered to delight us with his musical stylings, for it seems he is a man of innumerable talents. I give you, our producer extraordinaire: Mr. John Hunter!”
Claire stared at John in shock as everyone clapped and cheered. He winked at her and rushed to the stage.
John shook the lead singer’s hand as he patted his back encouragingly and stepped aside. He walked up to the microphone gesturing the wild crowd – mostly in their late 50’s – to quiet down
“Thank you… thank you so much. You might as well clap now, cuz you probably won’t when I’m done”
The crowd broke into hysterical laughter
“Anyway… I’d like to dedicate this song, to the stunning woman in a blue dress down there. The incredibly talented writer, author of Uneven Music – her most recent novel and one I’m sure will restore our faith in modern literature – Miss Claire Brickwell".
Claire sneered at him, as people turned to cheer and clap at her in admiration.
As soon as he gestured the band to start, and the trumpet delivered the first few notes, she recognized the song. It was Louis Armstrong’s ‘All Of Me’; a song her dad had played for his mom on their first wedding anniversary. Claire wondered if John knew about this, or if he had just randomly picked out the song, from the band’s 1940’s repertoire. She instantly made up her mind to discard any foolishly paranoid ideas and turned to gaze at him, as he snapped his fingers to the rhythm of the delightful trumpet. He then turned, and fixing his eyes on hers began to sing:

“All of me
Why not take all of me
Can't you see
I'm no good without you
Take my lips
I want to lose them
Take my arms
I'll never use them
Your goodbye left me with eyes that cry
How can I go on dear, without you
You took the part that once was my heart
So why not take all of me”

He moved across the stage in a remarkable imitation of Frank Sinatra, and Claire was amazed to see how the crowd joined in to sing as soon as he yelled ‘Everybody!’
When he was done, the crowd cheered wildly and asked for an encore. He smiled and bowed and, after waiting for everyone to calm down, said “You have been a beautiful audience, and I owe you all for making me look good in front of Ms. Brickwell.” He paused and looked at her “Come to think of it… Claire… why don’t you come on up and say a few words. I believe the occasion calls for it”
Claire shook her head, and gestured him to keep quiet by pretending to slit her throat.
John laughed “No? Awww… maybe she wants us to beg… C’mon, people, help me out here!”
Instantly, everyone began to yell out her name “Claire! Claire! Claire!”
She took a deep breath, smiled and shaking her head, dragged herself onto the stage. As she stood beside him she whispered into his ear “You’re dead, Hunter… dead!” as she flashed her best smile to the audience.
John chuckled and handed her the microphone while planting a kiss on her cheek.
The crowd slowly calmed down, waiting for her to speak
“Uhm… Well…what can I say? I guess it’s been as much of a shock to you as it has been to me…” she pointed at John “… the fact that all this time, John Hunter has been moonlighting as a Hollywood producer, when his real talent, obviously, is to impersonate Frank Sinatra” she smiled at him smugly as the percussionist rolled the drums, and both the crowd and John went wild with laughter.
Then, suddenly, someone from the crowd yelled “Kiss her!” to which someone following his cue yelled “C’mon Hunter, don’t be a chicken… kiss her already!” And again more cheering.
Claire shook her head and smiled. John grabbed the mike and addressed the audience “You really want me to, don’t you?”
More clapping and cheering. He turned to look at her and spoke into the mike “You wouldn't want to let them down, now would you Brickwell?” as he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her close. Before she could react or step away, he kissed her passionately, as the drums rolled feverishly and the crowd frenzied. Claire, completely taken aback, shivered as his lips pressed against hers. He tipped her and as their lips parted whispered “Do you hear that Claire? I’m not the only one who thinks we should be together” and he lifted her back up.
Claire bowed blushing and ran off the stage. He began to follow her, but paused for a final word to the roaring crowd “By the way, remember to leave your name with the host. I’ll make sure you get complimentary tickets for the premiere of our upcoming movie 'A Multitude of Sins'”. He then waved and rushed off the stage.

Chapter 101

He woke up with a serious hangover, stepped into the shower, and dragged himself to the Equinox club on Lexington Avenue. After a two hour work out at the General Fitness Studio, he decided to hang out at the Poolside Lounge, and finish off his almost religious protein shake. As his mind lingered on the thought of Claire and Hunter together, he was suddenly interrupted by the sound of a female voice:
“I’m sorry, is that taken?”
Ryan looked up to find a beautiful brunette, probably in her early thirties, with sparkling blue eyes, holding a bottle of Gatorade, and pointing at the chaise lounge next to his.
He smiled and shook his head, gesturing her to use it “Be my guest”
“Thanks, Gosling” she flashed a smile and sat back to enjoy her drink.
Ryan turned to gaze at her as she faced the opposite side of the room and dried off her chest with the small white towel that hung across the back of her neck.
Without even turning to look at him “Feels great once you’re done, doesn’t it?” she swigged “I always tell myself that as I drag my lazy butt in here every morning”
Ryan chuckled under his breath and nodded.
She turned to look at him “I don’t think I’ve seen you here before, have I?” she squinted and shook her head “ No… I don’t think so. Believe me, I’m great at spotting celebrities” she paused and stretched out her arm “I’m Jackie Mason, by the way”
He smiled and shook her hand “Nice to meet you, Jackie, and… you’re right. This is the first time I’ve been here”
She nodded and turned back to look ahead “Told ya”
“Do you come here every morning?”
“Yeah… sort of. I do have the occasional early meeting, but I can usually stay away from the office until at least 10 am”
“Could I ask what it is that you do?”
“Wealth Management and Investment Banking… I work for UBS”
Ryan lifted his eyebrows in honest admiration
“Sounds exciting, doesn’t it?”
“Yeah”
“It isn’t” she broke into a smile and went on “It does however allow me to lead a life of reckless spending and vicious frivolity”
As he nodded and laughed lightly, her cell phone rang
“Yep. Hey Alan… what is it?” she placed her bottle on the floor. “What?” she suddenly got up “You’re fucking kidding me! When did this happen?” she paused, breathed out and walked around anxiously “Ok.. Alan, listen to me… Calm down… don’t do or say anything. I’ll be there in 20 minutes… No, Alan… I need you to stall him for 20 minutes. I’m on my way” Muttering under her breath, she grabbed the bottle and started towards the changing rooms
“Wait!” Ryan sat up “Jackie?”
She turned to look at him, her mind obviously focused on something else
“Will you be here tomorrow?”
She nodded
“Ok” he licked his lips “I’ll look for you”
“Sure… I’ll be seeing ya, Gosling. Take it sleazy” she winked at him and took off.
Ryan, still somewhat startled, sat back and fixed his gaze on the women’s changing room door, hoping to catch a glimpse of her as she left the club.

They sat to enjoy a delicious meal of assorted salads and warm chicken. Chicken had always been one of Zach’s favorites and he wondered if Kate had considered this while deciding on their lunch menu. They discussed life abroad, away from family and friends, and the hardships of having to learn a new language, and adapt to strange culture. They congratulated Zach after he mentioned he had found out, only today, that his novel had been nominated for a National Book Award; and wondered if his promoting tour would include Boston at any point.
Kate stood up and began to clear the table. Instantly, Zach jumped off his seat to help out. “How long will you be staying?” she gestured him to sit down
“In Boston?” he sat back down obligingly
“Well… that too… but I meant, in the U.S” she piled a few dishes
“Uhm…” he hesitated for a moment
Kate pointed at him “Hold that thought… I’ll be right back” as she dashed into the kitchen
Zach turned to look at Martin who smiled, and sat back to finish his glass of wine.
She walked back outside carrying a huge bowl of fruit salad, and set it on the table. She then moved to grab a few bowls and spoons from a small side table she had prepared forehand. “You were saying?”
“How long will I be staying in the US?” he paused “Indefinitely, I suppose”
“You’re not going back to Paris?” she handed him a bowl
He shook his head and took the bowl smiling “Thanks… and no. I’ve rented quite a spacious loft in Soho. It’s not Columbus Circle, but I’ve always found Soho to be a delightfully intriguing neighborhood”
She handed Martin a bowl and sat down “Have you seen Claire?”
Zach nodded as he swallowed “Yeah...”
“I wonder what she’s up to… you know, we haven’t talked to her in almost two months. What with Martin’s conference in Chicago, and her trip to LA… She did email us about her new job as a screenwriter, though… So exciting, don’t you think?”
“Hollywood’s only too lucky to have her” Zach set down his spoon “Kate… did she by any chance mention if she was seeing someone?”
Martin nodded “Yeah… I think she said something about an actor…” he turned to look at Kate “Was it an actor, Kate?”
“Hmmm” she nodded “Some young actor living in LA. Of course, it’s probably not too serious. My Claire is way too practical to even consider dating some Hollywood movie star… I mean, those people lead very unusual lives”
Martin shook his head “Now, honey… don’t you think you’re being a bit prejudiced?
She turned to look at him “Ok… maybe not every single actor in Hollywood is frivolous and self centered… but you have to admit most of them end up walking in and out of rehab centers, getting their licenses revoked for driving under the influence, and competing to see who gets to be on the Guinness Book of Records for the number of times they’ve gotten married and divorced”.


“How long have you been thinking about this, Patricia?”
She turned to sit facing him “For while now… ever since Colin quit MC&M and opened his own little bookstore”
“Ogham?”
“Yeah… He has poured his heart and soul into that place” she smiled “You know doctor, I think… for the first time in his life, Colin is proud of what he has accomplished. I sense in him, beneath all the pain and sorrow Laura has caused, a new light. Dim, almost imperceptible; but pure and true.”
“And you believe that by leaving your family behind you will be able to accomplish something you might have been postponing all these years?”
“Maybe, I can’t really say” she bit her bottom lip
“How do you think Seamus will react to this?”
Patricia turned to gaze ahead, her mind wandered through memories of the past days.


He got to the studio early that day, unable to handle the anxiety, and browsed the scene as dozens of crew members rushed across getting everything ready. The room had been transformed into an exact replica of Mount Sinai’s emergency area. A long hallway spread to the side, following a waiting area, and led to a fully equipped room with a bed, a variety of monitors, life support systems and a small window. Mark was talking to one of the actors dressed in scrubs, while Vera worked on the nurses’ make up and hair. Ryan would be there soon, and he figured Claire was probably taking a quick shower after her morning run.
He smiled, recalling their time together last night. He had dropped her at her apartment around 2 am…
“That was so much fun, John. I dunno how to thank you” she smiled at him as she searched for her keys
John shook his head, licked his lips and smiled mischievously “Well… to be honest with you, Claire… I can think of a few ways… but I won’t even mention them. I don’t want to get slapped and ruin such a perfect night”
She chuckled and unlocked her front door “I guess you’re as smart as you look then, Hunter” she leaned over to kiss him on the cheek
He lingered, brushing his face against hers, still mesmerized by her soft skin, and grabbed her arm gently “Seriously though, all the joking aside, I had a great time too, Claire. Thank you”
She smiled and stepped inside as he let her arm go.
“Claire?”
“Yup?” she flicked the light switch and turned to face him
“What will happen tomorrow?”
“What do you mean?”
“Ryan’s in New York… you know that don’t you?”
She licked her lips and nodded
“Have you considered that?”
She breathed in “Yeah…”
“Any thoughts?” he leaned on the door frame
“I guess it’ll be slightly awkward at the beginning, but I’m sure will work it out eventually. Don’t you agree?”
“He’ll probably want to get back with you”
She paused.
“It’s ok, Claire… I understand.”
“There’s nothing to understand, John. Ryan and I are not getting back together and that’s final”
“You sure sound confident about that”
“I do, don’t I? Well… I have to.” she paused. “It’s going to be hard you know… being alone again” she looked away.
Instantly, John stepped forward and grabbed her cheek, fixing her gaze on his “You’ll never be alone, Claire… not while I’m around”
She smiled, licked her upper lip and looked down. John kissed her forehead and stepped back.
She paused and looked up again “I’ll see you tomorrow, then”
He nodded as she waved and closed the door.

As she was getting ready for bed, her cell phone rang. She rushed to answer, secretly hoping it would be Ryan.
“Hello?”
“Hey… I’ve missed you”
“Hunter? What are you doing?”
“Right now? Standing on my windy terrace, desperately wishing you were here with me”
She smiled and jumped into bed “You know… they’ve got a word for that”
“Really? And what’s that?”
“Incorrigible”
John chuckled under his breath “To be honest with you Claire, I was thinking more of another one”
She paused to fix the covers “Really?… So, what’s your word then, Mr. Sinatra?”
“Love”

They sat to drink coffee inside. Kate had baked one of her famous banana loafs, and had finally agreed to share the Godiva chocolates Zach had bought.
Martin set down his cup “What made you want to suddenly stay in Paris? Claire was pretty vague about that ‘minor’ detail”
Zach sipped his coffee and nodded. It all made sense to him now. Claire’s parents had never even heard of Sophie and of his betrayal. Claire had probably told them half the story. She had probably said he had been given a great opportunity to write in Paris, a ‘once in a lifetime’ offer he couldn’t possibly refuse.
Kate jumped in “You know… we tried to talk her into joining you there, but she wouldn’t even consider it. Went on and on about her job teaching at Columbia, and Bill and her friends…”
Zach paused to consider. He had to tell them the truth; it was the only decent way to deal with this. If he was planning on getting her back at some point, if he needed her parents to stand by him on this one… he had to be honest. There was no question about it.
He set down his cup and breathed in “The truth is, Martin and Kate.” He leaned to set both his elbows on his knees, and crossed his arms “I stayed in Paris because I met someone”
The Brickwells stared at him in shock
He nodded “Yeah… I know. I have no excuse. I was foolish and callous, and completely irrational. I guess I thought I was in love with her. Her name was Sophie, she was – still is, actually – a painter. A week after we met I moved in with her. Claire knew all of this, of course. I cannot say why she chose to hide it from you. Maybe she didn’t want you to hate me for it. I really dunno. It’s amazing for me to think that, in spite of my ghastly behavior, she would still want to protect me.”
“I guess she must love you too much” Kate lifted her cup
“Go on please, Zachary” Martin gestured him to keep talking
“Sophie and I were together for almost two years. And believe me, at the time, I felt no regrets. I honestly believed I had made the right choice.” He licked his lips and swallowed “And then, one day, it happened.”
“What happened, sweetheart?” she looked at him inquisitively
“Rothko happened”
Martin took another sip “You mean Mark Rothko?”
Zach nodded “And it hit me… I suddenly realized I missed Claire, I yearned for her… and at that moment I understood: I loved her” he lifted his cup once again “So I moved out, got a small apartment in the outskirts, and began to work on my novel”
“A Modern Day Tragedy?” Martin sat back
He nodded. “That’s what the novel’s about”
“Honey, you mean to say you wrote a novel about Claire?”
“In a nutshell… yes. I wrote a novel about our relationship, about my atrocious blunder, and about my final epiphany”
“And what’s that?” Martin gazed at him
“I’m in love with your daughter and no other woman will do”