Writer's Block (Chapter 1 to 10)

Disclaimer: I do not know Ryan Gosling or any of the other celebrities mentioned in this story. This is merely a work of fiction. I make no profit from it and intend no harm or insult.

Chapter 1
It was a beautiful summer morning in sunny Santa Monica. The sun had barely come out and a fresh breeze rattled the leaves of the trees. She had gotten up at dawn, taken a quick shower, and tiptoed to the kitchen for a light breakfast. Lola, followed her throughout the entire the process, wagging her tail noisily; eagerly expecting some breakfast.
“Keep it down, girl or you’ll wake her up!”
Lola looked up at her and lay down, placing her nose between her paws, as if trying to muffle the sounds of her breathing.
“You are such a smart girl! Here… don’t tell Em I gave you some bacon… she’ll kill me if she finds out”
She put on a bikini, a pair of comfy jeans, a T-shirt and sneakers. Got her handy rucksack; shoving in it a towel, the book that lay on her night table and a comb. Later, she packed a few supplies from the kitchen, while finishing off her coffee, and scribbled a note for Emma: Out to the beach. Took Lola with me. Love, C. She borrowed Emma’s bike (thinking she could use the exercise) and pedaled her way out of the drive way and into the street. Lola trotted lightly beside her.
Claire had arrived yesterday at noon. She hadn’t been in California for quite a while… six years to be exact. She was originally from Boston, but had moved to Manhattan seven years ago. Emma, her best friend from high school, had moved down here after graduation. Emma and Claire had been best friends ever since they could remember. They had been neighbors and attended the same private school in Boston. They had experienced everything together, and had basically spent every minute of their lives as a team until graduation. Emma wanted to become a lawyer and had always dreamt of moving to the west coast. She got into UCLA, first Pre-Law and eventually Law School. She now worked for a major LA firm in Corporate Law and made - as she so accurately pointed out - ‘a disgusting amount of money’. Claire stuck to the east coast, and graduated from Columbia with a Master’s Degree in English Literature
They had kept in touch these past years, and Claire had eagerly visited Emma during their freshmen and sophomore years at college. Since then, however, she hadn’t come down to stay with her again. Emma, instead, always found time to fly up to New York. They both loved to go to museums together and, of course Manhattan, was the best place to do that.

As she pedaled on, feeling the ocean breeze fill her lungs, she wondered why she hadn’t come to visit sooner. She had always loved the ocean; and the city could be quite a nuisance in the summer. Emma was a wonderful host, and the flight down here wasn’t even that long or expensive (besides, Emma had been more than willing to pay for her fare). Still, Claire had always found something to prevent her from leaving the Big Apple: a book presentation, a lecture at Columbia, papers to grade, work to finish… Of course, most of them were lame excuses. There were hardly any presentations during the summer holidays, no grading to do, no lectures to attend and as for work to finish… well…that was the one good thing about being a writer… she could do it anywhere. All she needed was her laptop, the internet – for research – and maybe a couple of books (that could always be ordered online, and shipped within 24 hours to any destination in the US). So, yes, definitely, all of them, lame excuses.

The truth be told, lately Claire hadn’t been getting any work done.

“Writers’ block?! You, of all people?” Bill stared at her in disbelief.
“I guess… I dunno”
“Claire, listen… of all the writers I’ve worked with… I never thought this could ever happen to you” He stood up and walked towards her as she sat on the black leather sofa right across from his desk.
Claire dropped her shoes on the carpet and lifted her legs, grabbing them against her chest. She paused to reconsider; Bill would probably say something about her feet on the couch. (He’d always been very particular about the furniture in his office). She looked at him, but Bill said nothing. (He was obviously very upset) He just sat down again and stared at her…waiting.
“Look, Bill… I wouldn’t worry about it. I mean, how long has it been?”
“Three months… you haven’t handed me one page in three months! This is so unlike you” he lit a cigarette and offered her one.
“No, I quit, remember?”
“Listen, Claire…” He took a deep breath “You know I love you, right?”
Claire nodded smiling
He went on “I love your work... but mostly I love your work etiquette”. He stood up and began to walk around the room, puffing intensely “But you know how publishing companies work… we need to give them something soon or it’ll be our funeral”
“Wow! Isn’t that a bit extreme? Funeral?”
“Brickwell, you know what I mean”
“I love it when you call me by my last name.” She winked. But, Claire knew what he meant. Bill was not only one of the best editors in town; he was also a good friend.
“What if you take a few days off? What the hell, why don’t you take the whole month off, huh? Relax, maybe travel a little, visit friends…. Get laid…”
“Get laid?” She stared at him in shock
“C’mon, Cee, how long has it been already? You haven’t dated anyone since Scott and that was two years ago” he sat down again and took a deep breath “It worked out fine for me, these past two years. Up until these last three months, you have worked non stop. You’ve even gotten more work done than what was expected. But this is not good for you Cee, it’s not healthy”
“Hey, I consider myself a pretty healthy person!”
“Yeah, sure… you quit smoking, you jog at Central Park everyday, you eat right, you sleep eight hours… but when do you laugh? What about relationships and love and all that stuff that you so vividly portray in your work?


A sudden barking brought her back from her thoughts. She felt Lola’s leash tug at her wrist.
“What is it girl?”
She looked ahead noticing another dog playfully running towards them. They were at the beach already. Claire had been so immersed in her thoughts, she hadn’t even realized how far they’d gone.
“Shit! Stay!” She yelled at the mutt as she jumped off the bike and stretched out her arm.
At her command, the dog stopped and looked at her confused, as if questioning why he was not allowed to come over and play.
“So you’re not a mean dog, are you?” she walked slowly towards him. “Hey, you!” Claire kept rubbing behind his ears while searching for a collar. “So, you do have an owner…” she paused to read the tag “George. Hey, George!… How are you? Aren’t you a nice dog!” George wagged his tail enthusiastically “So you like Lola. She’s a good looking girl, don’t ya think?” George licked her face and moved towards Lola. “Yeah, you go ahead and smell her for a while” She pointed at both of them “Just take it easy you two, ok?”
Claire started towards the ocean. Lola and George followed, barking at each other playfully. She stopped a few feet away from the shore and stared ahead, pausing to set her bicycle down and lay the rucksack on the sand next to it. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and sighed.
She then sat, removed her sneakers and plunged her feet deep into the warm sand. Bliss. That was the word that could describe what she felt. Utter bliss.
She got her book and took up where she had left off. (Both Lola and George were off playing in the water). By the end of the second paragraph, she stopped. It was too hot to read. (And the fact that she had pedaled her way there wasn’t helping).
“Hey you guys, wait for me… I’m coming!” Lola and George continued to chase around each other completely oblivious of her. She smiled foolishly. “Yeah” she whispered to herself as she unbuttoned her jeans “I guess you don’t need me… but I’m coming anyway”
She took off her T- shirt and ran towards the water, pausing to check for someone else around. Not a soul. Claire was not self conscious about her body, she had always been fit. Her legs were long and lean, her stomach flat. She had at one time thought her breasts were too big, but after she’d grown a few more inches she felt they were just right. She wasn’t crazy about her butt, but all her ex boyfriends had complimented her on it, (‘heart shaped’ is what she’d heard them call it)…she could live with that. Having turned 26 last fall, she had intensified her exercise routine fearing it would all start to drop.
Lola barked and splashed her way near her, George followed wagging his tail.
“So, you wanna make sure whatever spot Lola hasn’t wet, you will, huh?” She laughed and started splashing water back at them… “You think you’ll outsmart me? No mister, I have a graduate degree!” she kept splashing and running around them… Lola and George kept barking eagerly and wagging their tails, trying to jump on her. Finally, she decided to go for a swim and left the dogs barking at the shore.
The water was warm, and except for the occasional wave, the sea was pretty calm. She swam for a while, keeping an eye on the shore, on the dogs and on her stuff.
After almost half an hour, she started to swim back. As she walked towards her belongings, she noticed the dogs had seized her towel and were sunbathing comfortably in her spot.
“Hey, get off my towel! You’ve got your own fur to keep you warm”
She shook the towel, stretched it out on the sand and sat to dry off. Put on some lip balm, combed her hair and laid back to sunbathe; resting her head on George’s back.
She dozed off completely (she couldn’t say for how long)… till she heard a man’s voice…
“So I see you’ve found yourself I new owner. Well, I don’t blame you” he paused “I would have done the same thing if I were you”
She opened her eyes, suddenly… too suddenly. Her vision was completely blurred, with the sun and the salty water… all she could see was a shadow and some strikingly white teeth. Beautiful smile, she thought. She rubbed her eyes and sat up, lifting her head as George jumped up to meet his owner.
“Hmmm… Hi!” She smiled, slowly getting a glimpse of the man standing next to her. He was tall and thin, with a perfectly toned body. His hair was short, blonde and he had a scruffy looking beard. Models, she thought. Where else but in California!
“So George is your dog?” She looked up at him lifting her arm to cover the sun from her eyes.
“Well, he was until recently I guess… seems he’s abandoned me for a beautiful woman”
“I thought he was lost” Wait. Did he say beautiful woman? George kept wagging his tail, jumping and barking “He just has a minor crush on Lola… See? He’s telling you all about it now”
“Well, he’s always been a bit of a ladies man” he smiled
Claire noticed his eyes. She had never seen eyes like those before… such an intense shade of blue.
“Hi, I’m Claire” she stretched out her hand “Pleasure to meet you”
He grabbed her hand and helped her up, pulling her inches away from him. “Ryan, and it’s been my pleasure”
Claire stood paralyzed, her eyes fixed on his. Finally, she snapped out of it and stepped back. “Uhmmm… so… Are you a local?” She couldn’t think of anything smart or witty to say. How could this happen? She was the queen of dialogue! In her work, dialogue was her strong asset. She could always think of interesting remarks, elaborate puns, funny retorts… but somehow, her mind had gone completely blank.
“Not really… but kind of” Again that smile. It will be the end of me!“Right” She looked confused.
“Well, you see, I’m originally from Canada, but moved down here a while ago”
“Oh… I see. Quite a weather shift, isn’t it?
“Yeah… it is” He looked down at her stuff on the sand “You’re not from around here, are you?”
“No… I live in Manhattan; I’m just visiting a friend”
“And where’s your friend now?” he paused “Is he coming to get you?”
“She, is probably getting up as we speak”
He smiled, somehow relieved “But it’s almost noon”
“Believe me, I know her. She likes to sleep late on weekends”
“So, Claire from Manhattan, I’m starving. D’you wanna go get something to eat?” He knelt down to rub George’s neck, adding nonchalantly “My treat”
She paused, hesitating... “Sure… but I have Lola and my bike with me”
“It’s ok. I have a Jeep, and Lola can come with George. We can double date” he smiled and turned to speak to Lola “Only, I need to warn you, George always pretends to misplace his wallet… so I’m paying for everyone’s lunch” He looked back up at Claire and winked “Don’t worry, I’m used to it”
Claire laughed as Ryan lifted her bike off the sand.

Chapter 2

They got to a small restaurant right across the beach. It wasn’t a fancy place, just nice and friendly. Rustic, she thought, would be the best way to describe it. Most of the furniture was made out of wood, and it boasted some odd surf touches. She walked in and smiled as she heard one of her favorite songs playing in the background: Head over Heels by Tears for Fears. Ryan walked behind her; his hand softly brushing her lower back. George and Lola treaded silently beside them. He guided her through the wooden tables making her turn right, just before they reached the farthest booth. He then led her onto an open deck that lay practically on the beach. What a view! He walked towards a table on the corner and put her rucksack on one of the empty chairs, sitting casually on another one.
Claire smiled at him and continued to the opposite end of the deck; where she paused to admire the view, slightly leaning on the veranda. The beach was slowly getting crowded. Groups of teenagers with surf boards, beer kegs and powerful sound systems were invading the area. They weren’t really close to the deck, but she could see them jumping around and dancing to the latest hit on the radio. It reminded her of her trips to the Hamptons during her college years. Those had really been wild times. Beach parties that lasted days, smoking, drinking and getting hardly any sleep. She had met some interesting characters during those years. Mostly guys majoring in English, Philosophy or Political Science. Claire had always wanted to marry a poet. Someone who could share her love for Virginia Woolf, Katherine Mansfield, DH Lawrence and TS Eliot.
Zach had been her poet. She had met him at a lecture in Columbia. (He was one of the guest speakers). Zach was six years her senior and finishing his PhD on English Literature. His topic of dissertation: Modernist Writers. He was so talented. He had introduced her to one of her favorite authors: Raymond Carver, and had opened her eyes to so many new things. He had taught her how to look for inspiration in the oddest of places – like a pizza parlor – or how to appreciate modern art and foreign cinema; but mostly he had taught her about work etiquette. About keeping up with deadlines, about forcing yourself to write everyday, about being constant in your work – something writers seldom accomplished. Also, he had introduced her to Bill, one of the hottest editors in New York... And with Bill came a contract with Random House, a well known publishing firm that allowed her to pay back her student loans, and keep a decent two studio apartment in the upper west side of Manhattan.
They lived together for almost three years. He would travel a lot, lecturing around the country. She would eagerly meet him at Penn Station, wanting to hear all about his trip, and they would ride the subway home laughing at some odd souvenir he had picked at the hotel’s gift shop.
Eventually he published his first novel. She remembered reading the final draft. It was brilliant, painfully brilliant. Of course, after that, invitations to present his book around the world started coming. She traveled abroad with him, for the first few presentations. He said he needed her there… “You keep me focused, humble, aware of my roots” he had told her. And she knew he really meant it. Zach had many character flaws; he was arrogant, proud and even sometimes a bit prejudiced… but he was honest. Always had been. Bluntly honest.

She felt a hand brush the hair away from her shoulder.
“Oh!” she jumped back startled
He looked at her concerned. His deep blue eyes even brighter as they reflected the midday sun. He licked his upper lip. “Are you ok?”
She shivered slightly from his touch, and turned her head to the view once more. “Yeah, it’s just that it’s been quite a while since I’ve seen something so beautiful”
“I know what you mean” he kept his eyes focused on her, hardly even blinking.
She looked back at him, awkwardly pointing with her head towards the beach. He lingered, rubbed his chin and finally turned to look at the view. “I come here a lot. The food is great and the view is pretty sweet” He sighed. “So, are you ready to order?”
“Right, yeah, sure… uhmm…” She followed him towards their table. “What’s good here?”
“Everything, but I highly recommend the shrimp salad” He waited for her to sit and pushed her chair in.
“Aren’t we the gentleman!”
“Well” he leaped to his seat “My mom always said learning these gestures was as important as having math skills” He paused smiling bashfully “I was home schooled”
“Well, if you don’t mind me saying this, your mom must be quiet an amazing woman”
“She is” Claire could tell he was blushing underneath his perfect tan.
They sat in silence for a while.
“So, shrimp salad it is” She decided to break the silence. It hadn’t been an awkward silence, though… she could have stayed like that forever, gazing at him endlessly as he smiled at her.
“Ok” he gestured the waiter
As a blonde teen in a Hawaiian shirt sprinted towards them, she got up. Ryan looked at her confused.
“Do you mind if I hit the ladies’ room while you order?” she needed to check how she looked. She hadn’t thought about it until now… My hair must be a mess!
“Sure” He stood up and smiled at her as she grabbed her rucksack and scanned the area in search of the restrooms.
“All the way down there to the left”
“Thanks, I won’t be a minute” she took a step and paused “Do start off without me, you look famished”
“Wait” he yelled “Anything to drink?”
“Water’s fine” she yelled back as she headed inside. She then overheard him tell the waiter “Well, there go my plans to get her sloppy drunk and seduce her” … they both laughed.

The rustic theme continued into the restrooms. As she walked in, she caught her reflection in the mirror. Not too bad. Her auburn hair was slightly curled from the sea. It was really long now. She used to have bangs but was now going through the transition of having to put them to the side, tucking them behind her left ear. She decided not to comb her hair, fearing it would get all puffy. She then washed her face, scrubbing the sand off her forehead and eyelashes. She had a slight tan, and her cheeks were somewhat rosy… but it looked tolerable. Emma had suggested she go to a tanning saloon before she came. Her skin was too white and hadn’t been exposed to the sun in ages. She normally would have discarded this foolish idea. But she remembered this trip was about doing things differently, maybe even about being somewhat foolish; so she paid for a few tanning sessions and got to Santa Monica with a ‘healthy brownish hue’.
She checked her bikini top brushing the sand off her arms and cleavage. Not too bad either. It was a plain black two piece, nothing too fancy or sexy. I will definitely have to go shopping with Em for new ones. Finally she put on her T-shirt and tied a not on the side, exposing her belly button. Too much? No, it looked subtle and kind of sexy. She stared down at her feet. Thank God she had gotten them groomed before she came. The silly toe ring she decided to wear looked good too. Claire loved her feet. They were the one part of her body she had never complained about. Pausing to check her reflection once more, she took a deep breath and walked out. As she approached the table she couldn’t help smiling. Ryan was relaxing on his chair smoking a cigarette and rubbing Lola’s back.
“Didn’t have you for a smoker” she frowned slightly
He turned, surprised… not expecting her to show up this soon. “Yeah, sorry” he licked his upper lip. “If it bothers you I can put it out” he reached for an ashtray.
“Nah, it’s fine… I use to smoke myself, doesn’t bother me at all.”
He grinned and got up to fix her chair again. Claire smiled and shook her head taking a huge gulp of water.
“Ok…” he sipped some water “Tell me everything about yourself… so far, all I know is that you’re from Manhattan, obviously smart, and incredibly beautiful”
“Really? Well, all I know about you is that you like dogs, were born in Canada and are in desperate need of an eye doctor!”
“Oh and you’re also unable to take a compliment”
And use humor as an escape mechanism … he forgot to add that. “Well… my life’s not very interesting. I’m a writer… or at least I try to be one. I write for a couple of small newspapers in New York, the literary section. I teach a few classes at Columbia University and have published a book of short stories… that of course has been lost into oblivion. I live in the upper west side, regularly visit the MoMA and like to spend rainy days in Starbucks, catching up on some reading while getting seriously high on caffeine. Sadly, I spend most of my time writing about things I’ve never done (and will probably never do) and places I’ve hardly visited” She took another sip. “Your turn”
He paused and put out his cigarette feeling so at ease. He didn’t think he had met someone quite like her before: funny, relaxed, obviously talented and beautiful. He tried not to get his hopes up… she was probably taken. He had noticed she was not wearing a ring… but that meant nothing nowadays. She could be married, engaged or even living with someone back home. There was no way in hell a woman like this was ‘available’. Besides, he told himself… even if she was, by some remote chance, single… how could someone so educated, easygoing and talented be attracted to him? He came from a completely different background. He had no higher education or any sort of formal training. He took a moment to reconsider… but maybe, these differences were exactly what made them right for each other.
It was obvious she didn’t know who he was. Probably more of a bookworm than a movie buff. “Let’s see… Like many others living in this area, I’m an actor. I’m currently taking a break from shooting my last film”
She almost spit her drink. “Film!? Anything I might have seen? Now that I think about it…you do look familiar… sort of” she stared at him… studying his face for a few seconds – Nope… not a clue – “But hey, I’m not the best person for this… I think the last movie I saw was actually Cinema Paradiso… and only because I was going through an all-things-Italian phase.” She stopped and blushed realizing how silly she sounded. Trying to regain her composure, she sipped more water.
“Well, Cinema Paradiso is a really good movie. I wish I had been in it… only I don’t speak Italian. I haven’t even been to Italy”
Their salads arrived…just in time to rescue her. Claire felt completely embarrassed; he was probably a famous actor and expected her to know who he was. But Claire knew that as far as she was concerned, he could have been as famous as Jack Nicholson, and she still would not have been able to recognize him.
“I always lost at movie charades, you know, nobody wanted me on their team”
Fixing his gaze on her dark green eyes, he burst into hysterical laughter.

Chapter 3

“This is it” She pointed at Emma’s front lawn. Lola jumped off the Jeep and ran into the backyard barking madly. George stuck to the backseat panting, wagging his tail and letting out an occasional bark.
Ryan killed the engine and sat facing Claire. He looked serious and slightly nervous. Claire licked her lips and smiled “Thanks, Ryan…. I haven’t had this much fun in a long time!”
“So, does that mean you’d consider going out with me sometime?”
“Sure… I’d love to … as long as I’m not interfering with your busy work schedule. I know celebrities have to show up at clubs and advertise their movies and stuff. I don’t know much about the film industry, but I do know that”
“Yeah, I wish I could skip that part. But like you said, it is an industry, a billion dollar industry and they need to make sure they get their money back. What are your plans for tomorrow?” He cut to the chase.
“Mmm… I have no plans… I’m on holiday, remember?”
“Well, my schedule’s packed tomorrow... But I’d really like to take you out for dinner. How does that sound?”
“That sounds great! Let me give you my number… or should I call you?” Being away from the dating scene as long as she had been, she couldn’t quite remember how these things worked nowadays… Besides, should she consider this a date?
“I’ll give you my number if you want it. But don’t worry; I’ll call you as soon as I know how my day’s working out”
“Perrrfect” She gathered her stuff and in a sudden impulse, kissed him on the cheek, catching him completely off guard.
As she began to walk away, she paused and turned. Ryan wore a huge smile on his face. “Ryan, if you can’t make it… it’s fine. You still made my first day in Santa Monica unforgettable… Besides, now I’ll be able to boast to my friends about having had lunch with a movie star! Ryan Gosling” she pretended to draw a marquee in the air “and they’ll all go: Ooooh!, Wow! and Ahhh!
“You’re quite a character, you know? Should've considered a career in the movie industry yourself” he started the engine “Claire…” she turned “I’ll be seeing you tomorrow” He winked and drove off shaking his head and smiling.
Claire watched him leave. Checking to make sure he was nowhere in sight, she tossed her rucksack and collapsed onto the front lawn to lie flat on her back.
Wow! What was that all about? How could I have met such an incredible guy?... And on my first day in California! She looked up at the sky… it was pretty late. Not dark yet… but … she checked her watch: “Six pm!” She had been with Ryan for almost 7 hours! Time had flown by completely unnoticed. They had talked about everything: their likes, their dislikes, their goals, their childhood, their families… and still, she felt there was so much more to learn about him. He had mentioned he played the guitar and had actually written a few songs. Songs, he had pointed out, she would never hear, considering she was a writer and would probably think his verses were terrible. They had talked about so many things… but as she played back the evening in her mind, she realized none of them had talked about relationships. Past or present. Hmmm… she thought… interesting.
She got up and walked inside. Emma was on the phone and gave her one of her looks. She got it. ‘Where have you been and what have you been up to?’ that was what she meant. They had always been able to communicate without saying a word.
“I’m gonna take a shower, talk to you later” Before Emma could stop her, Claire ran towards her room laughing.

Chapter 4

“Young lady… you come out of that shower this instant!” Emma stormed into the steamy bathroom. Claire peeped through the curtain and laughed.
“I won’t be a sec”
Emma, ruthless as any good lawyer should be, flushed the toilette and counted to three.
“Ouch! Damn you Em!”
She smiled smugly and walked out of the bathroom. She had made her point. She now rested her case.
Claire walked around the house looking for Emma. She wore a silk robe and kept massaging her hair with a towel. Finally she found her in the kitchen, reading the paper and drinking some tea.
“So, Miss Brickwell? Emma looked at her inquisitively
“Yes?” Claire smiled innocently
“You ho’! Where were you all day? And why didn’t you answer my calls?”
Her cell phone! She had completely forgotten about it. “I forgot my cell phone.”
“Ok, but that does not explain the fact that you were out all day long and arrived here on some stranger’s Jeep!”
Claire sat on the stool next to her and grabbed an apple from the counter. She polished it, rubbing it against her robe, and took a bite. She chewed for a while, enjoying Emma’s look as she impatiently waited for her to swallow.
“Well Em, it all began with an early ride to the beach with Lola…”
For the next two hours, Emma and Claire remained stuck to the kitchen stools. Claire talked and Emma listened; interrupting every so often to ask for greater detail. Claire was very good at telling stories and describing situations, (after all it was what she did). Emma’s questioning was almost vicious. They laughed and sighed almost at unison.
“… and finally I collapsed on your front lawn” She tossed what was left of the apple into the bin, licked both her lips and smiled at Emma, who sat staring in awe.
“Ryan Gosling? The Ryan Gosling! Ryan Gosling from The Notebook? He’s a really popular actor! How could you not know him? Honestly, Cee, for someone who knows so much about art, literature and current events, your knowledge of Hollywood celebrities is close to null” she paused “I’d say null, less than null, negative one hundred!”
Claire nodded in embarrassment
“He’s been in a couple of really good movies lately… I mean The Notebook made him famous… but he’s made quite a series of bold choices during his short but notorious career. He even got an Academy Award Nomination for his role as a school teacher with a crack addiction in Half Nelson”
(Claire made an effort to remember the names of the movies Emma had mentioned).
“Rumor is he’s a talented musician too; plus he’s working to help organizations such as Save Darfur, committed to ending genocide and providing help for the people in Darfur.”
Claire felt terrible. To think that her first impression of him had been so low… she remembered she thought he was a model, extremely superficial and only caring about his looks. But then again, he did look good. Really good.
“So tell me Cee… in person, is he as hot as he looks on the big screen? Or is that just the product of make up and good lighting?”
Claire sighed. Enough said.
“Really!? That hot, huh?” Emma grabbed Claire by the shoulders and shook her “Cee… I’m sooo jealous. I’ve lived in this neighborhood for almost three years now, and I never even saw him at a distance, fully clothed! I would’ve settled for that. But, you, missy… after asking you to come visit me for the millionth time, get to meet him half dressed and spend a whole day with him! On your first official day here! That’s it, I hate you.”
“Nah, you love me. Besides you have Matt and we both know he’s a keeper” Emma had been seeing Matt, a senior partner at her firm, for almost 2 years now. Matt was crazy about her and dead gorgeous as well. He kept asking her to move in with him, but Emma kept refusing. She like being an independent woman, and thought that the moment you moved in with a guy, the wooing would stop and they’d turn into a ‘Saturday-night-movie-night couple’. For her, that was the beginning of a doomed relationship. Claire loved that about her. They were so different when it came to relationships and men. Claire was the exact opposite. She enjoyed the everyday things… waking up together, fighting over who gets to shower first, taking turns to make breakfast, picking out crockery together at The Crate & Barrel or The Pottery Barn, spending a whole evening in Strand in search of a second-hand copy of some obscure novel; picnics, wine and reading in Central Park… All of a sudden she missed Manhattan. But who was she kidding; there was no one there to share these things with. There hadn’t been for while.

Emma glanced at the clock on the kitchen wall and jumped off the stool.
“Cee… It’s almost eight! Matt is picking us up in 15 minutes!
“What?”
“He’s taking us out for dinner. C’mon, move it, we need to get ready!”

Both of them darted to their rooms. Claire was ready in 10 minutes. She wore a loose fitting turquoise dress, that accentuated her new tan, and strappy sandals. She fixed her hair and put on some eyeliner and mascara. She then got a small purse and a thin black sweater and sat in the living room, casually going through Emma’s endless collection of Vogue magazines. A few minutes later, she heard the doorbell ring and yelled in the direction of Emma’s room “Should I get that?”
“Yes… please Cee… I need 5 more minutes… just talk to him for a while!”
Claire rushed to the door and opened it. Matt stood there, tall, lean and extremely sexy, completely dressed in Tommy Bahamas. He smiled, pleasantly surprised to see her.“Hey, Cee… How are you? It’s been quite a while hasn’t it? You look amazing! Nice tan by the way”
“Hey yourself!” she smiled enthusiastically “I know, it’s been over a year, I think, since you guys last visited me in New York. You look great, as always”
He handed her a box.
“What’s this?”
“Just a token of my affection” he winked “I didn’t have time to wrap it".
She opened it. It was a beautiful silver anklet. Claire was speechless. “Matt, you shouldn’t have! It’s beautiful”
“Em picked it out for you. I told her I wanted to get you something nice. Maybe entice you into coming here more often. Also, if she had found a receipt for jewelry among my things, she might think I was having an affair. You know how suspicious Em can be”
“You’re right. Good thinking, Matt. Besides Em does have impeccable taste”
They hugged affectionately. As they parted he browsed the room behind her.
“So, is Em ready? We have eight thirty dinner reservations.”
Just as he finished saying this, Emma showed up looking absolutely stunning. She wore tight pants and a loose fitting top with straps on the back. Her blonde hair was slightly curled and she wore gorgeous high heeled sandals.
He walked up to her and gave a slight peck on the mouth. “Honey, you look breathtaking… but do you always have to wear such high heels?”
He was right; on those heels Emma was practically as tall as Matt. Claire admired that in her… she could never walk on those heels. She thanked her parents everyday for making her tall so she could avoid those disguised elements of torture.
“Nobody comes between me and my Manolo’s, not even you babe” She smiled and patted his chest.
Claire shook her head and chuckled under her breath.
“Hey!” She noticed Claire was holding the anklet she had picked out a couple of days ago. “Do you like it?”
“It’s incredible, thanks! Should I put it on?”
“You might want to save it for tomorrow night” Emma winked at her.
“What’s happening tomorrow night?” Matt looked like a mischievous kid.
They both giggled, Claire set the box on the table next to the door and walked towards the driveway where Matt had parked his brand new Lexus.
“What? What’s happening tomorrow night?”
He opened the door and they all jumped in. Emma pulled down the mirror on the passenger’s seat and put on some lip gloss “That, baby, is the topic of today’s dinner conversation”.
Matt gazed at her in bewilderment as he backed out and they drove away.

Chapter 5

Claire had a hard time waking up on Sunday. They had stayed out late drinking wine and laughing, till the muscles on her face felt sore. Matt was a great impersonator and he spent half of the night pretending to be Bill Clinton. He was brilliant at it, and both Emma and Claire almost spit out their wine – on more than one occasion – as he stayed in character throughout the entire evening.
She stretched and yawned and hugged the blanket thinking… Five more minutes and I’m up. She glanced at her watch: Ten am. Fuck! She jumped out of bed and looked out the window. Another beautiful day. She took a quick shower and ran to the kitchen for her daily dose of caffeine.
Emma was up and on the phone again. Lola lay on a large cushion on the kitchen floor and greeted her with a slight wag of her tail.
“What is it girl? Do you miss George?”
Lola lifted her head and barked once.
“I hear ya” she lifted her coffee mug and pretended to toast “…know exactly how you’re feeling”
Emma walked into the kitchen.“So, what do you feel like doing today? We have a couple of hours before Mr. Hollywood comes to get you”
“First of all, Em… you shouldn’t call him that. I don’t think it’s very flattering; and second, we don’t know if he will even call, let alone come and get me.”
“Oh… shush. Drink your coffee… your brain is malfunctioning. You must be low on caffeine” She placed the phone back on the counter. “So, have you thought of something or do you want me to decide?”
“Any suggestions?”
“Well, I thought we could hang out here at the pool for a while, you know, work on our tan, and maybe later go do some serious shopping”
“You’d rather stay here than go to the beach?”
“It’s really windy, Cee. Believe me… the beach is not where you want to be on a day like this”
Claire looked out the window once more. She’s right, it is windy today. She hated the idea of staying in the house all morning. “Do you mind if I jog for a while before we sunbathe?”
“Not a bit”
“Wanna join me?” She looked at Emma trying to sound tempting
“Pass… you’re the one who likes to jog. I’ll stick to my Pilates four times a week as I always do. You should try it some time”
But Claire knew Pilates was not for her. The only reason she jogged everyday was that it helped her organize her thoughts. It provided her with a space to clear her mind and focus on what was really important. That’s when most of her ideas for essays and stories had been hatched.
She got into her running gear, fastened her iPod’s armband and headed off into the road.
The weather was ideal for running. Not to hot, not too cold. She checked her watch as she started to run. Half an hour would be fine. After all, she had come down here to spend time with Emma… and maybe get back on track with her writing.
She started thinking about Bill and what he had said back in New York only a week ago. Bill was such a great guy. She remembered when she first met him: Zach had taken her to an art exhibition in one of those trendy lower east galleries.
“What kind of painters am I learning about today?” she teased Zach as he asked the driver to stop at the next block.
“Abstract Expressionists” he helped her out of the cab
“Right. Are they any good?”
“They’re breathtaking, honey. Almost as you are” he grabbed her hand and kissed her.
“I still think it’s too cold to be out tonight. Are you sure you wouldn’t rather be home taking a hot bath with me?”
“As tempting as that may sound… we have to be here tonight. This exhibition will be in town for two more days and I’m leaving for Rome tomorrow” he led her hurriedly across the street. It was below freezing point that night, and she secretly hoped the gallery had good heating. She wouldn’t make it through the evening otherwise.
As they got to the building she noticed a long line of people standing outside, waiting to get in. Claire felt like crying. She looked at Zach anxiously.
“Don’t worry, baby, Marcus got us VIP passes”
She sighed. As soon as Zach flashed their passes, the man at the entrance gestured them to come closer. He unhooked the rope in front of him and let them through. (She could hear people complain outside). Claire felt terrible, but relieved as her body slowly gathered up heat from inside the room. They left their coats, gloves, hats and scarves at the wardrobe and stepped into the main room. She stood in awe as hundreds of giant canvases covered the walls from top to bottom. Her eyes were still wet from the cold outside, so she rubbed them a few times.
“I’ll go get us something to drink. Just stick to this side of the room, you’ll be easier to find”
She nodded and breathed in. As she browsed the area, one of the paintings to the left caught her eye. She walked towards it and stood motionless, contemplating.
“Spectacular, isn’t it?”
“Huh?” she hadn’t noticed this man who was standing next to her. He was a short man, slightly overweight, with dark brown hair and a bushy beard. He gazed at her smiling as he held a glass of whisky.
Claire nodded, lifted her hands to her face, breathed hot air into them, and rubbed them together.
“Here” he offered his glass. “Have a sip of this, it’ll get you warm”
“Thanks” she took the glass. Normally, Claire would not have accepted a drink from a strange man, but there was something about his gaze that made her feel confident. She took a small sip. Jesus! and handed it back to him.
“So, what do you think?” he pointed his glass at the painting.
“Breathtaking… magnificent… dramatic” Claire felt as if she could go on forever. “Whose work is this?”
“Mark Rothko, Latvian – American painter, 1903 to 1970” he stretched out his hand. “I’m Bill Rosenthal, pleased to meet you”
She shook it “Claire Brickwell, likewise”
He handed her his glass once more. “You’re still awfully cold. Finish it”
Claire hesitated for a split second, took the glass, looked at him defiantly and emptied it in a single motion. Wow! For a minute she thought she would scream. Instantly, she felt a subtle warmth growing from within.
He took the glass back from her and smiled. “Is that better?”
“Much better, thanks Bill. I owe you”
She fixed her eyes on the painting once more. There was something about the way the colors blended with each other. It seemed as if the painting kept transforming into a new one every second.
“Seems to transform itself, doesn’t it? Every time I look at it I feel as if I’m looking at another painting, even though I know it’s the same one” he scratched his chin, his eyes fixed on the painting
“My thoughts exactly” Claire turned to look at him in bewilderment.
They stood in silence for a while. As she felt a slight buzz – it must be the whisky – she stepped back. Her vision was suddenly interrupted by a glass of red wine.
“Drink this, baby… it’ll get you warm in no time” Zach had his arm around her. She took it and turned to find him holding a glass of whisky in his other hand. He gestured her to drink, so she took a small sip.
“So, how do you like it so far? Now, some of these you have seen at the MoMA, but others were flown in from museums all over the world.”
“I really like this one”
“Rothko, yes… one of my favorites. This particular painting comes from London, Tate Modern Museum” He stood beside her, contemplating the majestic canvas.
Instantly, Claire turned to look at Zack “Honey, I’d like you to meet…” she pointed at the man standing to her right
“Bill?”
“Zach?”
“Bill Rosenthal, it is you! How long has it been?”
Claire stood speechless as both men hugged and patted each others backs.
“I dunno… two years, maybe three… I heard you published your first novel. Must admit I haven’t read it, but the reviews are excellent”
“Well, you know how it is… bribe the right people and everyone will think your work is good” they laughed “Have you met my Claire?”
“Sort of… we were actually contemplating this painting together until you cut in”
“You weren’t trying to make a pass at her, were you?”
“Well…” he paused “No! You know I’m a married man”
“The hell I know! It was me who introduced you to your wife, remember?”
“How could I forget?”
Claire tried to keep up with them, waiting to be given the chance to speak.
“How’s Tess doing anyway?” Zach went on
“She’s fine… misses you”
“She was my best editor”
“Well, I guess the guys on top thought you’d work better with a man”
“Marcus is excellent; don’t get me wrong, but not half as fun as Tess was”
They paused
“So…” she seized the opportunity “How is it that you guys know each other?”
“Bill is an editor at Random House, I met him through Marcus” Zach explained
“Oh! and who’s Tess?
“Tess was my first editor. Lovely lady, by the way, great sense of humor. I only got to work with her for a few months before they switched me to Marcus. Then I met Bill, he didn’t know Tess – even though they worked only a couple of floors apart. So, one night at a small get together at my place, I introduced them and… well, the rest is history”
“We got married after three months” Bill cut in “I owe you, man. I couldn’t be happier”
“Well, you deserve it. I still think she could have done much better though” He dunk as Bill playfully tried to punch him.
“So…” Bill turned to Claire “You’re a writer, aren’t you?”
“She is… a very talented one” Zach broke in, rubbing Claire’s neck encouragingly.
Claire blushed.
“Are you working for any publishing firm right now?” Bill seemed genuinely interested
“What? No… I’m working free lance for a couple of minor newspapers and magazines
“Why don’t you come to my office next week? Bring some of your stuff with you… maybe we could work something out”
Zach smiled at her. She was stunned. How had this happened? Random House!
Zach poured some of his whisky into Bill’s empty glass and started hitting the side of his with a fountain pen “A toast… to Claire’s loss of innocence. Welcome to the winter of our discontent” He looked at Bill as their three glasses collided “Publish or Perish!” they both exclaimed.
Claire laughed and sipped her wine.

Chapter 6

She ran back into the house somewhat out of breath; checked her pulse rate and walked around for a while breathing deeply. She felt great. Running did that to her.
She showered, got into her bikini, grabbed a towel and headed for the backyard to meet Emma. They spent a few hours sunbathing, swimming and talking. Claire kept looking at her watch and glancing at the phone that lay on the edge of the pool.
“He’ll call you soon, so stop worrying about it and relax”
Claire wanted to do just that, but couldn’t. She kept thinking about his last words: “I’ll be seeing you tomorrow”. Finally she decided to give up hope. It was already four pm. He was probably not going to call.
She got out of the pool and wrapped herself in a towel. She was about to walk back into the house for some fresh water when the phone rang. She turned and looked at Emma as she rushed answer.
“Emma Peters speaking” she paused, Claire was too far to recognize the voice on the other end of the line. “And who may I say is calling? Hang on a sec, I’ll see if she’s around. Cee, it’s Ryan for you!” she yelled.
Emma smiled covering the phone with one hand. Claire stood a few feet away, paralyzed.
“Well” Emma whispered “Are you gonna take this or shall I tell him you’re not available?”
Claire jumped towards her and stretched out her hand impatiently. Emma handed her the phone, stood up and walked towards the kitchen, giving Claire the privacy she needed.
“This is Claire”
“Hey! I’m so relieved you’re still there! I was afraid you’d left already”
“Left? No… I was at the pool, just went into the house for some water”
“Are we still on for tonight then?”
“Sure… what are your plans?”
“I was thinking maybe I could take you out for dinner and then we’ll see how it goes from there, ok?
“Sounds perfect to me”
He paused “I’ve missed you today” It was not a line. He was being honest. He had spent last night and most of today thinking about her.
Claire didn’t know what to say. There was an awkward silence.
He tried to fix it “So, at what time should I pick you up?”
“I dunno… around eight thirty?”
“Sounds good! So I’ll see you soon then”
“Ok” she could feel her heart pounding
“Ok, great… Bye, Claire” he was about to hang up…
“Wait!” he overheard her yelling “Ryan?”
“Yes?”
“I’ve missed you too”
He smiled, relieved.
“Bye, now… I’ll see you tonight” she hung up feeling faint, her heart still pounding.

Chapter 7

“Cee”
Claire jumped back startled… still slightly flustered after her brief conversation with Ryan.
“Get dressed; I’m taking you out shopping. We need to get you a stunning outfit for tonight”
After trying on an insurmountable amount of dresses, pants, tops, shoes and accessories; they settled for a black Dolce & Gabbana dress, pink Manolo Blahnik strappy sandals and a matching Fendi purse.
Claire was not crazy about the sandals, but Emma insisted, begging her to try them on. She finally surrendered to her friend’s desires only to find that they were actually pretty comfortable, once you got used to them.
Emma paid for everything (She wouldn’t have it any other way). Claire had brought her some stunning gifts from New York, and other than choosing the anklet Matt had given her, Emma hadn’t had time to buy her anything. She had been working extra hours to free her schedule so as to be able to spend some quality time with her friend. Claire’s visit had arrived on such short notice, she hadn’t even been able to organize a welcome party. This was very unlike Emma, and bothered her to a certain point.
“Besides” she pointed out to her as they walked towards the parking lot “This was more fun to me than it was to you. I know you’re not crazy about shopping at expensive stores”
They carried a few more things that Emma said looked too good on her and therefore had to be bought. “Who, knows? They might come in handy on your next dinner date or day at the beach”
Claire smiled and shook her head. “You’re really something else, Em… You know that, don’t you?”
“I hope I am. Now let’s get you ready for tonight” she started the engine and speeded off.

As soon as they got home, Emma called Matt, telling him she and Lola were spending the night at his place.
“What? Em, you don’t need to do that” Claire stood in her room watching her pack.
“Nonsense, I want you to feel completely at home when you get back. You can ask him in for coffee or a drink… whatever you want. And if things get, well, you know… steamy… then go for it! I shan’t be in your way”
“But I wanted you to meet him”
“We’ll always have time for that.” She grabbed some moisturizer from her bedside table “Now, remember to take your cell phone with you, and I left an extra set of keys on the kitchen counter” she paused and gazed at Claire adoringly “Have fun Cee, I love you” They hugged in watery eyes and laughed thinking how silly they were acting. “C’mon now, I want to help you with the final touches before I leave"

Chapter 8

Eight twenty five, Claire stared at her watch. She sat on the living room sofa crossing and uncrossing her legs. She was not wearing her new silver anklet. She thought it would be too much, with the straps and all. She wore very little jewelry, just a pair of diamond earrings and a matching necklace she had borrowed from Emma. (She had the most amazing things). Emma had always been into fashion and trends, ever since high school. She knew the names of every single designer, could recall entire collections at the drop of a hat and recognized perfumes a mile away. This baffled Claire. On the other hand, Claire would recognize any writer by reading one paragraph, any composer after listening to a few notes and most paintings at a glance.

She stood up and walked nervously, pausing to look at herself in the mirror near the entrance. She had fixed her long hair up in a ponytail thereby drawing attention to her shoulders and neckline. She liked the way she looked. Her dress was held by spaghetti black straps around her shoulders. Nothing too fancy. It reminded her of Breakfast at Tifanny’s, one of her favorite movies. Her makeup was light, just a few strokes here and there to deepen her gaze. She stepped closer to the mirror noticing a new freckle just above the side of her upper lip. Cute, she thought. She sniffed the back of her wrists… still there… the new perfume she had bought at the airport on the way. Somewhat floral, with a sweet under taste. She took a small bottle from inside her purse and sprayed some more. Finally, she looked at her brand new Manolo sandals. Stunning. As always in this department, Emma had been right.

The door bell rang. Claire panicked and looked at her watch: 8:30 pm. She checked her make up once more, smiled to make sure her teeth looked fine and, taking a deep breath, opened the door.
Ryan stood smiling, in a black suit and a white Darfur T-shirt. Casually elegant. He put his hand to his chest and bent backwards pretending to have a heart attack. Claire laughed and grabbed his arm before he fell back, pulling him into the house. He walked in revealing a beautiful pink tulip flower bouquet, he had been hiding behind his back. Claire took the flowers, noticing the color matched her shoes, and kissed him on the cheek.
“Thanks, Ryan, they’re gorgeous!”
He licked his upper lip and smiled. “You look gorgeous”
She felt her cheeks get warm and tried to concentrate to avoid blushing. “Let me put these in water and then we can get going”
“Ok” he followed her with his gaze, sensing how his knees weakened as he watched her walk towards the kitchen.
“I won’t be a minute” she yelled “Make yourself comfortable”
Claire rushed into the kitchen, found a vase, put some water in it and hurriedly shoved the flowers inside. She’d fix them tomorrow. She suddenly remembered about the extra set of keys Emma had left for her. She turned for the counter in search of them and gasped. Neatly folded next to them lay one of Emma’s Italian gauze shawls and a note ‘In case it gets chilly tonight. Love Emma. PS: On second thought I don’t think it will. Ha, ha. Have fun!’
Ryan walked around the room. He couldn’t recall the last time he’d been so nervous about a date. He desperately needed a cigarette; that would help him relax. He stood in front of the mirror and looked at himself. He licked his upper lip and rubbed his chin. Realizing Claire might see him, he decided to move away from it.
“Ok” Claire walked back into the living room “All set”
He sighed in relief. That was close! He stared at her again as she turned off a few lights and walked towards the door. He had thought she was beautiful the first time he saw her, sleeping with her head on George’s back, but tonight she looked beyond that. She was honestly breathtaking. How did he get so lucky? He stood gazing at her, completely numb.
“Ryan?”
He came back “Ok, hmm, shall we?” He opened the door and put his arm to the side so she could grab it. She got her purse, fixed her shawl and walked with him towards the car.
“No Jeep today?”
“I thought I’d try something different, considering how windy it is” he opened the door and helped her in.
“Good thinking, Gosling. I see you’re smarter than you look” she teased
He suddenly relaxed, remembering how easy it was to speak to her. “Oh, I’m gonna make you pay for that”
“Maybe you will, maybe you won’t” she smiled
He walked around the back of the car. She stretched her arm checking to see if the door on his side was unlocked. Yep. He got in and turned the key. Instantly, music started playing: it was Johnny Cash’s Ring of Fire. Unable to hold back, she began to sing…

“Love is a burning thing
And it makes a fiery ring
Bound by wild desire
I fell into a ring of fire

I fell into a burning ring of fire
I went down, down, down
And the flames went higher
And it burns, burns, burns
The ring of fire, the ring of fire”

They sang together and laughed as Ryan played with the tune delivering an alternate version of the song. She was impressed. He was a really good singer! Claire came from a family of amateur musicians, her brother played both the violin and the guitar, her father was an excellent composer and played a mean trumpet and her mom played the piano. She had even been a concert pianist at some point in her life…but that was before Claire was born; she had given all that up to raise her children. Claire had taken piano lessons as a kid, but quit pretty early. It required too much discipline. She used to be the singer at the jamming sessions her father organized at home. She was a pretty good mezzo, and had the ability to ad lib lyrics whenever she forgot them. It had always made her father laugh wildly.
“You’re pretty good!” she gazed at him in honest appreciation
“You’re not so bad yourself! I didn’t know you could also sing” he smiled
“Thanks. So, if my writing career crashes and burns… would you consider hiring me as a back up singer for you band?”
“In a flash… but considering the way you look, I’m thinking people will want you as a lead singer, not hiding in the back.”
“And you still haven’t seen me dance.” She was making an effort not to laugh.
He gazed at her thinking about what it would feel like to dance with her.
Ryan rolled down the window “Do you mind if a smoke?”
“Nope, knock yourself out”
He lit a cigarette. Now he had the perfect excuse for his next move. “Claire, would you mind opening the glove compartment and handing me a piece of gum?”
“Sure” she stretched her arms and opened it. A book dropped onto her lap. She looked down and gasped. It was a copy of her book! She lifted it ‘The Missing Ingredient: A collection of Essays and Short Stories by Claire Brickwell’. Oh, he’s good! she thought.“So you’re the one”
Ryan looked at her puzzled
“You probably bought the one and only copy”
“As a matter of fact, the guy at the bookstore said it was really good and even wondered why you hadn’t published anything else”
“Now you’re just being nice”
“Claire, I’ve read a couple of your stories. They’re brilliant. I mean it. I still haven’t finished it, but so far I have barely been able to put it down.”
“When did you buy it?”
“After I dropped you off at Emma’s.”
“Checking up on me, were you, Gosling?”
He shook his head smiling. “Trying to learn more about you.”
“Well, it has been known to happen, you know?”
“What?”
“Guys, yearning…pining for me. I’m irresistible”
“So I’m just another one of the lot”
“Yup, sorry Gosling. Better luck next time”
He reached for her hand and she spread her fingers, allowing them to lock with his. They remained in silence, listening to Chet Baker songs and facing the road ahead.

Chapter 9

He took her to a classy restaurant downtown. He had arranged for them to be in a private sector, away from the noisy environment, so they could talk.
“Good evening Mr. Gosling and welcome.”
“Hi, Amanda, how are things tonight?”
“Pretty hectic to be honest. Would you like to order a cocktail before dinner?”
Ryan looked at Claire. She nodded. “What would you like?”
“Dirty martini”
“Ok, that’ll be two dirty martinis”
“Would you like to see the menu?”
He nodded.
“Ok… I’ll be back in no time with your drinks and menus”
“You come here often?” Claire looked around admiring the ambience, subtle music and dim lighting… Very romantic, she thought.
“Not really. Do you like pasta?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Cuz they got a new Italian chef and I hear his Lasagna” he pretended to speak Italian “is molto good. You know, Santino…?” he scratched his chin
Claire laughed as he tried to imitate Brando’s Godfather
“You broke my heart Freddo, you broke my heart” quoting one of her favorite movies “Leave the gun, take the cannoli”
When Amanda arrived with their drinks they were both laughing wildly almost to the verge of tears. She placed their drinks and menus on the table and stood waiting for their order. Claire noticed her and stopped, alerting Ryan with her eyes. He immediately regained his composure.
“We’re both having Lasagna” He stared at her lifting his eyebrows. Claire bit her lip to avoid bursting into laughter again.
“And to drink?”
“The house wine will be fine”
“Right away, Mr. Gosling. Allow me” She took their menus and left.
They burst into laughter once more. After at least five minutes of trying to be serious but failing miserably, they finally stopped to catch their breath, wiping the tears off their eyes.
Ryan paused and lifted his glass “To George”
“To George?”
“Without whom I might have never met you”
“Right, to George” Claire stared deeply into his eyes as their glasses touched.

The lasagna was indeed delicious. Claire felt a bit dizzy from the cocktail, the wine and the endless jokes Ryan came up with. He was a great entertainer and could pull off almost any accent. She could see that he was truly talented. He also had great timing - something writers know about - he knew when to pause and when to deliver the punch line. He was obviously a natural.
Ryan drank mostly water. After all he was the designated driver. He poured more wine into her glass.
“Gosling, are you trying to get me drunk?”
“Ohh… busted!”
“You don’t wanna do that, believe be, I’m a terrible drunk. I fall asleep immediately. It’s no fun, you can ask anyone”
He pushed the wine glass away from her and filled her other glass with water. “I need you awake” he paused “Would you like any desert?”
“No, I’m full”
“Me too”
“Would you excuse me for a moment?” she got up “I’ll be right back”
Ryan got up and nodded
As she walked towards the restrooms she noticed the restaurant was now practically empty. She checked her watch it was almost 1 am!
Ryan sat playing with the wine cork. He grinned remembering the past few hours. This was probably one of the greatest dates he had ever had! And the best thing about it was that it still wasn’t over…
He signaled Amanda for the check, paid and gave her his car keys. She’d make sure his car was waiting for them at the entrance.
Claire was back. A few touches here and there, nothing too obvious.
Ryan stood up. “We should go” he lay the napkin on the table
“Yeah, it’s pretty late”
“And they’re closing” he took her hand as they walked towards the exit.“This is us” his car halted in front of them as they stepped out.
They both got in and drove away.
“What do you feel like doing?” Ryan lit a cigarette “Do you want to go dancing?”
Claire wanted to go someplace quiet. She borrowed the cigarette from Ryan’s mouth and took a drag. She did this every once in a while. In her mind, if she hadn’t lit the cigarette, then it wasn’t really smoking.
“Dancing? You’re not ready for my moves, Gosling” She teased, pausing “I’m not ready for my moves”
He laughed. “Are you feeling ok?”
Claire sighed “Never better”
She put the cigarette back in his mouth letting him take a drag, taking a drag herself after that. She repeated this procedure until it was consumed. Ryan was oddly turned on by this. There was a sexy drowsiness in her eyes as she sat facing him on the passenger’s seat.
“Do you want me to take you back so you can get some sleep?”
“No!” she sounded like a stubborn child
“Ok, so…” he hesitated “Do you wanna come to my place for some coffee?”
“Ok”
He stepped on the gas, leaving skid marks on the road and made a U turn. He was afraid she’d change her mind.
They stopped at a group of apartment buildings. He parked the car and unhooked his iPod from the stereo system. He moved fast, he could sense she was slowly dozing off.
“We’re here”
Claire opened her eyes wide. He got off the car and opened the door for her. As he held her hand, he took the book from the glove compartment and locked the car. She followed him up a flight of stairs and onto an elevator.
“One…two…three…four” Claire counted out loud.
It stopped. She looked at him “You’re on the fourth floor?” Ryan nodded as they walked out of the elevator into a hallway “That’s odd… I live on the fourth floor too”
She was officially drunk.
They walked into his apartment. “Can I use your bathroom?” Claire wanted to wash her face… water on her face and some caffeine, and she’d be back to her normal self.
Ryan pointed to the left. “There’s my bedroom, you’ll find the bathroom to the left. I’ll get started on those coffees. Want milk?”
Claire shook her head, left her shawl on a chair and went into his bedroom.
Ryan put on some music, dimmed the lights and waited for the water to boil.

Chapter 10

She stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. She looked fine, but felt rather dizzy. She splashed some water in her face, carefully trying not to ruin her make up. She looked up again and patted her cheeks a few times.
“What are you doing?” she got a towel and dried off, fixing her gaze on her reflection. This was completely unlike her. “He’s not that irresistible. You’ll drink some coffee, stick to light conversation and ask him to drive you home”. She fixed her hair and curled her eyelashes with the tip of her fingers. “You don’t want him to get the wrong impression now, do you? To think that you’re easy”
But Claire knew she wasn’t easy. It had taken Zach a whole month of dinners, art exhibitions and endless conversations before she got into bed with him. She remembered he had kissed her good night on their third date. It had been a shy kiss, not full of passion or yearning, just sweet and tender. She couldn’t remember their first night together. Sex with Zach had been good. A bit awkward at the beginning, as he kept holding back. But time had changed that and they had eventually achieved, what she believed, had been a satisfying love life. She knew it wasn’t the best sex she’d ever had, but Zach moved her in other ways. She felt safe with him, in control. She had been in love with him, not a doubt in her mind about it. There was so much to learn by just being with him, listening to his ideas about art and modern literature. He had always been enthusiastic about her work, giving her the confidence she needed to publish her first book and get started on a novel. A novel she never finished.

She recalled the last morning they spent together, sharing an H & H cinnamon and raisins bagel – his favorite- as they sat on one of JKF’s terminals. Zach was leaving for Paris; another book presentation, the last one. Claire was not going with him, she had work to do. She knew that was not the real reason. The truth was she wanted to be alone, away from Zach. She had been feeling like this for quite some time now. Zach sensed this and promised himself he would deal with it when he got back. He didn’t want to lose her. He believed Claire was the best thing that had happened to him and was confident he could win her back with some effort. Zach believed in working for a relationship, and he wanted Claire to be the woman he spent the rest of his life with. She’ll come around, he thought. She always does. This hadn’t been the first time they had gone through a rough spot, and he had dealt with it before. Why should this one be different?
They kissed goodbye and she watched him walk into the pre-boarding lounge. There was a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach. She decided to ignore it and waved in excitement. He turned and blew a kiss towards her, waving as he disappeared into the security check area. She paused for a minute and turned to walk out of the terminal, unaware of the events to come.

Claire stepped out of the bathroom renewed. She joined him in the living room with a smile “Much better, sorry for that, Gosling”
“Hey, you hardly ate and drank half a bottle of wine…. You seem to hold your liquor pretty well”
She blushed. “So, how about that coffee?”
They sat on high stools and drank their coffee. Only a bar like counter separated the kitchen from the living room. She liked his place. It was a single man’s apartment, but it wasn’t fancy or full of the gimmicks that men like to buy now. You could tell he made a decent living, but he didn’t show off.
They sat in silence listening to old Frank Sinatra records. Suddenly Claire recognized the first notes to one of her favorite songs: Fly Me to the Moon. She shook her head smiling.
“Do you like this song?” Ryan set down his cup
“I’d say it’s one of my favorites. My dad used to play it on the trumpet while my mom accompanied him on the piano”
Ryan took her cup placing it on the counter and led her to an open spot in the living room. He bowed, “Would you honor me with this dance, Ms Brickwell?”
“Well”… she faked a southern accent “My card’s awfully full Mr. Gosling, but I guess I could make an exception for a strapping young man as yourself!
He chuckled under his breath and they began to dance. Ryan held her by the waist, making her turn, leading her far and close to him. He was a great dancer, and Claire felt so much at ease as he made her turn and swing. Finally he brought her towards him and held her close. As they slow danced he sang softly to her

“In other words, hold my hand
In other words baby, kiss me
Fill my heart with song
And let me sing forever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore…”
At the end of the song he tipped her. As he picked her up, slowly, she found herself inches away from him. They stared at each other for a while, slightly out of breath. Ryan closed his eyes and kissed her, gently, brushing her lips with his. Claire breathed in and kissed him back. Confident now, he deepened his kiss sliding his tongue into her mouth, feeling her body surrender completely. He held her tightly against him, wanting to feel her in every corner of his body. She softly massaged the back of his neck, scratching his hair gently with the tip of her nails. God, she smells good! he thought. He rubbed her soft lips with his thumb as he continued to kiss every inch of her face. She sighed as he kissed her neck and moved down to her chest. Claire felt she was about to lose control, wanting him so much she could hardly breathe.
He lifted her and carried her to the couch untying the straps on her sandals. He then began to lick her toes, one by one. She held her forehead with the back of her hand and covered her mouth trying to muffle the sounds of her lust. He looked up at her and rose to kiss her again. He lifted both her arms above her head and rested his body on top of her. She kissed him back desperately, feeling his body completely aroused. He held both her arms locked, and Claire could barely move. He used his free hand to caress her whole body, slowly, intensely. He started on her neck, moving down to her chest. He stopped at her breasts kissing her deeply as she gently brushed the tip of his tongue with her teeth. He continued towards her belly and down to her knees. He let her hands go and slowly slid his hand up her tight dress. Gazing into her eyes, making sure she was ok with this. She licked her upper lip and sighed letting him know he could keep going. He touched her gently. She was dripping wet and he moaned in ecstasy. He pulled off her panties, licked his fingers and touched her again, this time sliding his fingers inside her.
She let out a high pitched moan and began to breathe loudly. He started to move inside her, massaging her clit with his thumb. He paced his rhythm as he gazed at her, studying her sounds and body language. Suddenly she screamed, sitting up to grip his arm tightly, as he felt her warmth drip down his fingers. He took his hand out, understanding it was too much for her, knelt on the floor and kissed her again. She lay back again, panting heavily holding her hand to her forehead. He gently caressed her face and the back of her arm, smiling as he looked at her.
Slowly regaining control, she smiled at him and whispered “Wow!”
She jumped off the couch, took his hand, lifting him from the floor, and walked towards the bedroom. He followed her, bewildered. He still couldn’t believe this was actually happening!
She led him to the side of the bed and lifted his shirt. He put his arms in the air letting her slide it off. She began to explore his body with her mouth, kissing him and licking him. She stopped at his right nipple, brushing it gently with the tip of her tongue, and nibbling at it softly. She repeated this on his left nipple. Unable to hold back any longer, he grabbed her face in rapture and kissed her. Claire smiled, pushed him on to the bed, slightly lifted up her dress, and placed his thighs between her knees. He stretched out his arms to cup her breasts, tugging at the straps that held her dress. She unzipped her dress and let the straps fall to the side of her arms, revealing a strapless black bra. She let her hair down and paused to gaze at him.
“Claire, do you know how beautiful you are?” Ryan held her face, brushing her hair off it
She smiled mischievously as she unbuttoned his pants, gently rubbing the area below his waist and tugged, trying to remove his trousers. He helped her getting rid of them in a single motion.
Claire laughed. How is it that guys learn how to undress themselves so quickly?She bent towards him and teased his mouth. She was driving him crazy. He unhooked her bra and tossed it across the room. He cupped her left breast and slid down the bed to kiss it. Claire moaned. He then moved to her right breast, intoxicated by her sweet taste. He grabbed her by the hips and switched positions. Ryan lay on top of her now as she fought to regain control. He kissed her pressing his body against hers and smiled as she slowly surrendered. He stood up and took off her dress sliding it down her long lean legs. He took of his boxers and stood gazing at her, trying to create a mental picture of this moment. Claire gazed back at him, and gestured him, with one finger, to come closer.
He took a condom from his bedside table and put it on. Slowly, he positioned himself on top of her as he brought her up towards the center of the bed. They kissed, gently building up passion. He slid his hand between her legs and touched her as she began to moan.
“Ryan” she stroked his hair and rubbed his left ear lobe softly “I want you inside of me”
He gasped as he slowly entered her. Her fingers locked with his, letting him know when to stop and when to keep going. Finally his full length rested inside her. He moaned as she surrounded him with her moist warmth. He began to move, kissing her as she sighed and moaned.
Claire kept moaning and panting, as his rhythm quickened, feeling she was loosing control again. He lifted her to a sitting position, her legs around him. She pushed him towards the bed and began to move on top of him. (He wished she would get there fast; he couldn’t take much more of this). Suddenly she screamed. He could feel her muscles contracting around him. Carefully making sure he was still inside her he switched positions and got on top of her, intensifying his thrust as he approached his climax
Claire looked at him desperately.
“C’mon baby” he stared into her eyes “stay with me”
A second later they both came loudly as their lips fused in an ardent kiss and she wrapped her legs tightly around him.
He kissed her again and moved to the side. Claire lay on her back, exhausted. Ryan removed his condom and got up to toss it in the bathroom. He washed himself and rushed back to bed.
She sat up and smiled at him, stroking his hair as he lay beside her, panting in exhaustion. His gaze fixed on hers.
She got up and put his T-shirt on. “Wanna share another cigarette?”
He smiled and sat up. “Don’t move” she pointed at him “I’ll get them”.
She walked into the next room, turned the music off, and found the cigarettes on the kitchen counter.
She came back to his bedroom and tossed him the pack and his lighter. He lit one, grabbed an ashtray from his beside table and gestured her back into bed.
Claire grabbed her long hair, fixing it across her left shoulder, and sat in front of him. Ryan stroked her thigh and handed her the cigarette.